Book: My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

★★★★★/★★★★★
“Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some of us are better at dealing with it than others.”

I've always liked reading books like this. Books about death and depression and dark sides of life. It's maybe because I'd like to know how a person can feel so sad and depressed and hurt all at the same time when there are so many things to be happy and grateful about. But then I guess there are also so many things, reasons, to be sad and depressed and hurt about. 

Aysel is a fan of plotting her own death. She is determined to die. Reason: Her father killed someone and she's afraid she inherited that part of her father's brain that told him to kill someone. But Aysel is not her father. Only she's not convinced and the people around her are not so good at convincing her too. Hell they act like she's her father! So she thought there's only one way to end that misery, to off herself. Now she's looking for a partner, suicide partner, so she won't chicken out when time finally comes to do it. Then she meets Roman. He's determined to die too. And you know what happens when suicidal girl meets suicidal boy. They give each other a reason to live.

This one is a very sad one. And it's definitely a good one. 
I found myself crying for their pain and for the things I want to tell Aysel and Roman. :(
And I want to tell those Aysels and Romans out there to keep holding on. Because somewhere, somehow, you will find that reason for you to keep going on. :)

Book: Tonight The Streets Are Ours by Leila Sales

 

★★/★★★★★

I really wanted to like this one, I really did, but I guess expectations only take you so far. :(

Hundred pages in and I was still unsure whether to continue or not. I guess I just didn't connect with Arden, or anyone, like how I wanted to and I didn't really like Arden's character-too nice, too forgiving, too everything. And I'm not really a third-person-pov kind of reader. 

Anyway, I was expecting more and my hopes went up when Arden and Lindsey finally went to New York but then everything happened so fast that I wasn't sure how to comprehend what was happening anymore. While some parts were realistic, some were just so not. One moment Arden and Peter didn't know each other and the next they were talking about Peter's personal life. I mean, Peter could've at least thought that it was creepy that some girl approached him at the bookstore he was working at and told him that she'd read his blog. For all he knew, she could be a stalker or something. And he is an asshole, btw. But then, it was just for me.

So, two stars for this one.

SOUNDS GOOD FEELS GOOD by 5 Seconds of Summer

I love the whole album and so far my favorites are Jet Black Heart and Waste The Night! 
I will skip talking about the first 4 songs (Money, She's Kinda Hot, Hey Everybody!, and Permanent Vacation) because they've been released earlier than the others but of course they're great too! :)
 So now, let's talk about the rest of the album.

-Jet Black Heart ♫♪
 Michael's voice on JBH is so asdfghjklsldfjghsdfghkj that I listen to it over and over and over again without ever getting tired! It's like the song was intentionally written for him and his voice did justice to it. It's beautiful.  

The blood in my veins is made up of mistakes
Let's forget who we are and dive into the dark 
As we burst into color returning to life...

 -Catch Fire ♫♪
 This one was co-written with Alex Gaskarth and it's nice to imagine them writing a song together because I also love Alex. They're good friends too and oh well, just listen to the heartbreaking product of their writing session.
 
 The words you speak, surrounding me
This is broken love, in the first degree
The air you breathe is haunting me
Maybe I"ll change your mind... 

-Safety Pin ♫♪
 Now this one is becoming one of my favorites. I love the lyrics because I can relate to it and it's kinda sad (maybe this time two wrongs make it right...) It's on repeat on my playlist all day long and I really want to hear them sing this one live! :) 

We'll safety pin the pieces of our broken hearts back together
Patching up all the holes until we both feel much better... 

-Waste The Night ♫♪ 
 >When I first heard this song, I can already sing along with it because it's catchy and the lyrics are easy to remember. And I don't know why but it instantly became my new favorite. Maybe because of the lyrics or the tune or how they sing it or maybe because the song expresses something that I can relate to. :) 

 I don't wanna say goodbye to another night
And watch you walk away
I don't wanna let it burn in the city lights
And makes the same mistakes... 

-Vapor ♫♪
 This one is also good. Now it makes me think who the boys were thinking about when they wrote this song.

I wanna breathe you in like a vapor
I want to be the one you remember...

-Castaway ♫♪ 
 Well, I would also feel like a castaway if ever someone leaves me! But anyhoo, this song is perfect for those who just went through a break-up. It's sad but sometimes we just have to accept it. And sometimes it would make us feel like a castaway.

All your screaming whispers, slip through my fingers
But these memories linger on
Eyes closed, all I see is good times disappearing
And I'm trying to hold on...

-The Girl Who Cried Wolf ♫♪
 Okay, this one I can cry myself out. It's just that the lyrics are so sad and ugh! Can anyone please explain to me what's the meaning behind this song?

You say you wanna, but do you really wanna run away?

-Broken Home ♫♪
 Okay, talk about sadness and pain, this one is pretty high on the list. Can't you feel it? It's like they've perfectly written a song about a, well, broken home/family. The lyrics and everything makes you sad about those people who experience this broken home.

 You've gotta let it go, you're losing all your hope
Nothing left to hold, locked out in the cold
Your painted memories that washed out all  the scenes
I'm stuck in between a nightmare and lost dreams... 

-Fly Away ♫♪
 They've released this one earlier too but I wasn't really able to hear it much. And now that I've listened to it over and over, it's makes me want to really fly away, to reach the dreams I'm still dreaming.

I wanna take my heart to the end of the world
And fly away tonight...

-Invisible ♫♪
It doesn't need to be this sad for me to like this song. The lyrics alone are heartbreaking. And sad. And heartbreaking. And... sad. 

Looking on as all of life's colors seem to fade to grey
I just walked away...

-Airplanes ♫♪
Well, I like this one simple because I like airplanes.

I'm not gonna say I'm sorry,
gonna see the end of this story
I won't fade into darkness...

-San Francisco ♫♪ 
I don't know why but this song reminds me of Long Way Home, which is one of my favorites from their previous album. I love the lyrics and everything! And I would love to have memories like those with them. 

I wanna get back to where we started
to the summer night
You know, you know, you know, you know
we got it right
Yeah wanna get back to San Francisco,
in the fire light
You know, you know,you know, you know
we had it right... 

-Outer Space/Carry On ♫♪ 
This lines say it all. 

If you could love me again
I could let o of everything...

Carry on, let the good times roll
Sail on, let your path unfold
It won't be long, won't be long, won't be long
You know it's gonna get better...

 And honestly, I love ALL the songs from this album! :")
God, I can't wait to see them live next year! I'm so sure it's going to be fun!!! :))

Visit 5 Seconds of Summer on Spotify.

TV Series: Mr. Robot (2015) Season 1

 Main Characters:
Rami Malek as Elliot Alderson
Carly Chaikin as Darlene
Portia Doubleday as Angela Moss
Christian Slater as Mr. Robot
Martin Wallstrom as Tyrell Wellick

The reason I decided to watch this series was because of the positive reviews and the intriguing plot. I'm not really into this kind of series (I'm more of The Last Ship/The Blacklist kind of girl) but seeing that it has an interesting story, I was sold. And I have to admit that this series confused me a lot and Elliot was so fucked up sometimes.

Synopsis from Wikipedia:
The series follows Elliot Alderson, a young man living in New York City, who works at the cyber security company Allsafe as a security engineer. Constantly struggling with social anxiety disorder and clinical depression, Elliot's thought process seems heavily influenced by paranoia and delusion. He connects to people by hacking them, which often leads him to act as a cyber- vigilante. He is recruited by a mysterious insurrectionary anarchist known as Mr. Robot and joins his team of hacktivists known as fsociety. One of their missions is to cancel all debts by taking down one of the largest corporations in the world, E Corp (which Elliot perceives as Evil Corp), which also happens to be Allsafe's biggest client.

Elliot is not your typical character. While being a skilled computer programmer/hacker, he's an anti usual who spends time alone, hacking or stalking facebook pages or something. He doesn't tell anyone his feelings, he doesn't usually talk and he's awkward around people. I won't say I didn't like Elliot but his character was so messed up, he didn't even know what was real anymore. He had hallucinations sometimes and it didn't help that he can't remember some parts of his childhood. The moment Mr. Robot appeared in his life, things became even more complicated and it was the beginning of his association with fsociety.

  Mr. Robot and Elliot

The series is basically about Elliot trying to bring down multinational companies that he thinks are ruining the world. With his superb knowledge on computer, he uses it to hack into everything that can help him and the fsociety on destroying these companies.

fsociety

The series also focuses on other characters' story like on Angela Moss, Elliot's childhood friend, whose mother died of leukemia caused by a toxic waste leak that was allegedly covered up by Terry Colby. It was the same leak that caused the death of Elliot's father. Now Angela wants to bring justice to her mother's death, making a deal with Colby but we're yet to find out what will happen to that. Another character is Darlene, a member of fsociety who is later on revealed as Elliot's sister.

Season 2 will premiere on July 13, 2016 and I'm sure it will be bigger and crazier than the first! And I mean that in a good way.

TV Series: Once Upon A Time (2011) Season 3

The more I watch this show, the more I fall in love with the story and every character. And I want to tell everyone who doesn't believe in true love to watch this show because this will prove them that it really exists. Just watch Snow and Charming and I dare you to tell me you don't see true love in them! :P 

This season begins with Emma, Mary Margaret, David, Mr. Gold, Regina and Hook going to Neverland because Henry was kidnapped and brought there. They all work together to bring Henry back and have I ever told you that I love Peter Pan? Too bad he's a bad guy, or boy, in this series. And who ever thought that I would love Hook? Oh, now I do! 

Emma: You're glad to hear I have my heart broken?

Hook: If it can be broken, it means it still works.

Anyhoo, the series also introduces new characters like Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, Ariel, Prince Eric, The Darling family and others. They also show how Hook became a pirate and who Peter Pan really was. Surprise, surprise! The story gets more intense when they all get back to Storybrooke and another problem occurs causing Emma and Henry to leave the place, for good. :( 

 It continues after a year when Hook suddenly shows up at Emma's door and she doesn't recognize him. The rest is for you to find out. :)

And now I have my new favorite characters. 
*Regina Mills/ Evil Queen*

Just because she's the Evil Queen doesn't mean she can't be a hero. Because people changes and love does that to people. Regina wants Henry to see that she's changed so she does everything to be good even though it's not in her nature. I love her character because she's trying really hard to prove Henry and everyone else that she can be the good guy too.

*Killian Jones/ Captain Hook*

And then again, just because Hook is a pirate doesn't mean he can't be good. Because pirates are human too and there's goodness, even just a little, in every one of us. Hook may be a villain but you know what happens when a bad guy falls in love. And let's be honest here, we all know that he likes Emma! *insert kilig face here* So I think it's enough reason for him to change into something good, if not at all, and to prove that he can be a hero too. For Emma, of course! *insert another kilig face here* 

The end of the season also shows some happy endings. It's really heartwarming and powerful that it makes me fall in love too. I'm happy for the characters and #truelove! 

Happy Ever After...

David and Mary Margaret

 Robin Hood and Regina

 Hook and Emma

 Mr. Gold and Belle

And this is how their story began...

Prince Charming: I told you I'd find you. No matter what you do, I will always find you.

Snow White: Is this the only way you can catch a woman? By entrapping her?

Prince Charming: It's the only way to catch thieving scum.

Snow White: Aren't you a real "Prince Charming"?

Prince Charming: I have a name, you know.

Snow White: Don't care. "Charming" suits you. Now cut me down, Charming.

Prince Charming: And why would I do that? Snow White?

Prince Charming: Well, wherever you're going, be careful. If you need anything...

Snow White: You'll find me?

Prince Charming: Always. 

*Hook and Emma moments* 

This is the last one, promise! :D 

Book: Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon

★★★★★/★★★★★

“Spoiler alert: Love is worth everything. Everything.”  

 This is one of those book that I expected to love just by seeing the title and cover. And true enough, I enjoyed and loved it! It's an I-love-it-even-though-it-was-predictable story and I don't care. It's creative and thoughtful and full of heart and those are what matter, right?

 Madeline is sick. Can't-go-out-of-the-house-she-dies-if-she-does kind of sick. She hasn't been out of their house for eighteen years, only making contact with her mom and her personal nurse, Carla, and taking online studies. She's fine with her life like this, spending quality time with her mom, reading books, watching people outside her window until people move in next door. Until that bundt cake. Until Olly gives her his email address. Until Olly invades her personal space. Now she wants to know Olly more, personally-physically-emotionally, breaking her mom's rule of not letting anyone inside their house unless permitted by her with the help of Carla. Carla agrees because she feels sorry for Maddy for not experiencing the life, and love, she should be feeling at her age. She agrees to let Olly come over to meet Maddy but with one strict rule, to stay as far away as possible to Maddy. But you know what love does to people. It makes you do crazy things. So even though Maddy knows that touching Olly could cause her life, she doesn't care. And that's when she realizes that she's falling in love with him and there's no stopping it.

 .
"Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster."

Her feelings for him grow with each passing day to the point of disobeying her mom by going outside one morning just to make sure Olly is okay from all the fighting that is going on with his family. That action causes her to lose Carla, her mom's trust and her internet privilege. And one day, remembering what Carla told her about life being a gift, she decided to run away. With Olly. Even though she knows that she could die anytime soon.
 

 The story is not new to me but it's nice to see how creative it was written. I also had some concerns at first, like how childish Madeline was and how it was an insta-love but then I realized that Madeline hasn't been out to see the world, let alone her neighborhood, for eighteen freaking years and so she didn't have any idea about some things except for what she's read in her books or internet. She instantly fell for Olly that it made me frown and excited at the same time and I didn't know how possible that was. The frowning and excited part, I mean. But they were cute.

From: genericuser033
To: Madeline F. Whittier
 Subject: haiku #1
Sent: October 31, 9:07 PM
five syllables here
and now here are seven more
i love you maddy

 Anyhoo, I understand why her mom did it but if I were Maddy, I would be mad too. Her mom was scared and she just wanted to protect her from the harmful world but she didn't have the right to take Maddy away from everything. Eighteen years without knowing, feeling, seeing, experiencing the outside world and maybe all the other years ahead of her if she didn't find out the truth. It's heartbreaking for her mom, knowing Maddy could leave her now, but fortunate for Maddy because she can now see the world one breath at a time. And maybe now she can love Olly without worrying that she can die anytime.

October Reading List #2

Tonight The Streets Are Ours by Leila Sales

 Recklessly loyal.
That’s how seventeen-year-old Arden Huntley has always thought of herself. Caring for her loved ones is what gives Arden purpose in her life and makes her feel like she matters. But lately she’s grown resentful of everyone—including her needy best friend and her absent mom—taking her loyalty for granted.

Then Arden stumbles upon a website called Tonight the Streets Are Ours, the musings of a young New York City writer named Peter, who gives voice to feelings that Arden has never known how to express. He seems to get her in a way that no one else does, and he hasn’t even met her.

Until Arden sets out on a road trip to find him.

During one crazy night out in New York City filled with parties, dancing, and music—the type of night when anything can happen, and nearly everything does—Arden discovers that Peter isn’t exactly who she thought he was. And maybe she isn’t exactly who she thought she was, either.

(Goodreads)

The Same Sky by Amanda Eyre Ward

In this heartrending and poignant novel, award-winning author Amanda Eyre Ward tells the story of Alice Conroe, a forty year old Texas barbecue owner who has the perfect life, except she and her husband long for a child. Unable to conceive, she’s trying desperately to adopt but her destiny is quickly altered by a young woman she’s never met.

Fearless thirteen-year-old Carla Trujilio is being raised by her grandmother in Honduras along with her four year old twin brothers. Her mother is sending money home from Texas where she’s trying to make a better life for her family, but she only has enough to bring one son to her. When Carla’s grandmother dies, Carla decides to take her fate into her own hands and embarks on a dangerous journey across the border with Junior, the twin left behind.

Two powerful journeys intersecting at a pivotal moment in time: Alice and Carla’s lives will be forever and profoundly changed. Heartbreaking, emotional, and arresting, this novel is about finding the courage to trail blaze your own path in life with faith, hope and love, no matter the struggle or the tragedy.

(Goodreads)

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon

My disease is as rare as it is famous. Basically, I’m allergic to the world. I don’t leave my house, have not left my house in seventeen years. The only people I ever see are my mom and my nurse, Carla.

But then one day, a moving truck arrives next door. I look out my window, and I see him. He’s tall, lean and wearing all black—black T-shirt, black jeans, black sneakers, and a black knit cap that covers his hair completely. He catches me looking and stares at me. I stare right back. His name is Olly.

Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster.

(Goodreads)

Dumplin' by Julie Murphy

Self-proclaimed fat girl Willowdean Dickson (dubbed “Dumplin’” by her former beauty queen mom) has always been at home in her own skin. Her thoughts on having the ultimate bikini body? Put a bikini on your body. With her all-American beauty best friend, Ellen, by her side, things have always worked…until Will takes a job at Harpy’s, the local fast-food joint. There she meets Private School Bo, a hot former jock. Will isn’t surprised to find herself attracted to Bo. But she is surprised when he seems to like her back.

Instead of finding new heights of self-assurance in her relationship with Bo, Will starts to doubt herself. So she sets out to take back her confidence by doing the most horrifying thing she can imagine: entering the Miss Clover City beauty pageant—along with several other unlikely candidates—to show the world that she deserves to be up there as much as any twiggy girl does. Along the way, she’ll shock the hell out of Clover City—and maybe herself most of all.

With starry Texas nights, red candy suckers, Dolly Parton songs, and a wildly unforgettable heroine—Dumplin’ is guaranteed to steal your heart.

(Goodreads)

What We Saw by Aaron Hartzler 

 Kate Weston can piece together most of the bash at John Doone’s house: shots with Stacey Stallard, Ben Cody taking her keys and getting her home early—the feeling that maybe he’s becoming more than just the guy she’s known since they were kids.

But when a picture of Stacey passed out over Deacon Mills’s shoulder appears online the next morning, Kate suspects she doesn’t have all the details. When Stacey levels charges against four of Kate’s classmates, the whole town erupts into controversy. Facts that can’t be ignored begin to surface, and every answer Kate finds leads back to the same question: Where was Ben when a terrible crime was committed?

(Goodreads)

Book: I'll Meet You There by Heather Demetrios

★★★★/★★★★★

A girl. A boy. Life. War.
This story beautifully shows us the art of living, friendship, family, love and pain. It's  one of those books that you will love because you can relate to everything that's happening.

Skylar just graduated highschool and is excited to start a new life in college making arts. Josh just came back from Afghanistan and is still haunted by the things that happened to him while he was there. Skylar's plan is in motion until her mom loses her job. Josh's life couldn't get any worse after losing his leg in the war. In their journey towards re-figuring their life, Sky and Josh will learn that sometimes the person they least expect to be the one is actually the only person they really need.

I love this one because it's honest, inspiring and heartbreaking. Poverty, good friends, drunk mom, jobs, boys and college. I like how Sky struggled, working part time jobs and starving and being heartbroken but still ended up getting what she wanted. It was hard but she worked harder, loved harder and in the end lived happier. With Josh, of course. 

“And maybe some people are like collages - no matter how broken or useless we felt, we were an essential part of the whole. We mattered.” 

Anime: Akatsuki no Yona 2014

This anime reminded me so much of Fushigi Yuugi with Yona being the princess and all the dragons and the guys around her. And Su-won actually looked like Hotohori and Hak reminded me of Tamahome. Anyway, I loved it! It made me cry, laugh, fall in love and cry even more. I don't know if I'm just too emotional or this anime was just really good that you will feel every emotion inside of you while watching it!

The story is about Yona, the sole princess of the kingdom of Kouka and her journey on finding the legendary four dragons that once unified her kingdom under the rule of Hiryuu, the first king. It all starts on the night of Yona's sixteenth birthday when she witnesses the murder of her father, King Il, by the hands of Su-won, her childhood friend and who was once the most important person to her because he's so nice and gentle to her. Everything turns upside down when Yona realizes what Su-won really wants, the kingdom. Su-won is also ready to kill Yona if only Hak, her other childhood friend and bodyguard, hasn't saved her. Then both Yona and Hak escape from the kingdom to the Wind Tribe, Hak's home.

It's a really good story with strong, funny and heartfelt scenes. I love how Yona started as a weak and carefree girl who just stayed inside her palace but later on became a strong and brave princess after knowing and witnessing herself what was really happening outside the palace. Seeing it opened her eyes to so many things, thus promising to be strong so she can protect her friends and fight the bad guys too. The story gets better when she starts looking for the dragons.

Meet the gang.

Ki-ja, Jaeha, Hak, Yona, Su-won,Yun, Jeno, Sinha

Princess Yona

Son Hak 

Su-won

Yun

Ki-ja "The White Dragon"

Sinha "The Blue Dragon"  

 

 

 Jaeha "The Green Dragon"

Zeno "The Yellow Dragon"

 

 

 *Cheers

 

There were 24 episodes and each episode really made me laugh and cry and fall in love. Each episode told different stories and the one that made me cry my heart out was the part where Yun needed to say goodbye to Ik-su because Ik-su wanted him to go along with Yona and Hak. Their story was so heartbreaking and I loved the kind of friendship they had. 

 

I hope you enjoy this anime as much as I did! :)

 

Yona and Hak :") 

This one is from the OVA :)

I also decided to read the manga because I just can't get enough of them! :)