Poem: Hurting

It hurts when you say things like that
It hurts when you don’t trust the words I say
It kills me to know that you don’t believe me
It truly hurts when we fight this way.

I know it’s hard because you’ve been hurt
I know it hurts when you can’t trust the words I say
It kills you to know that I’m hurting
Yet we still fight like this everyday
 

Poem: Trying

I lay down for today
Trying to forget the day’s sadness
And every yesterday’s

I close my eyes now
Trying to tell myself it’s okay
And that I will be

Then I dream about myself
Trying to wake up from this nightmare
And all the others

I try and try and try
Believing I’ll wake up soon
And then I try again

from me to you #37

Hiiiiiii! Oh I’ve missed blogging! So, I’m back from a week of vacation and it was great and fun and amazing! I mean, I really needed that off from work and everything else and now I feel… well, like myself again. 😁 Anyhow, I missed this! I missed writing, I missed reading blogs, I missed talking to you all lovely people but I especially missed reading! You see, when I filed that vacation leave I also told myself I would take a break from reading, too, because lately I was kinda not in the mood to read and yes, we call it a slump. I have books I’ve been meaning to finish for a while now that until now are still sitting on my night stand. But, but! now I’m back and I’m all fired up to read everything I left behind.

My friends and I travelled north and it was three days of fun and adventure. We visited museums, windmills, beaches, falls and even tried sand boarding! It was crazy fun though my expecience was not that good. My boyfriend and I shared a board and unfortunately it went a little off track causing us to crash. But still, we were okay and the experience were great for our friends. It was also Valentine’s Day on our second day and I was happy to spend it not only with my boyfriend but also with my lovely friends!

Well, I’ll tell you more about my vacation in a separate post because for now I just want you to know now I’m so totally back with blogging! I know I’ve missed out on so much but hopefully I catch up. Okay then, until my next post. Bye for now. Happy reading!

Poem: Why?

10.42 pm

I miss you tonight
I miss your voice that tells me goodnight
I long for the sweet words that make me smile
Why aren’t you with me tonight?

I miss your touch
I miss it when you tell me you miss me so much
I want to feel your warmth all around me
Why are we losing touch?

I miss you
I miss you so much
I need you tonight and forever
Why aren’t you kissing me goodnight?

Book: Without Merit by Coolen Hoover

 ★★★★/★★★★★    

“Not every mistake deserves a consequence. Sometimes the only thing it deserves is forgiveness.”

So, I’ve probably said this a thousand times before that Colleen Hoover is a brilliant writer because yes, she is! I love all her books (even the ones I haven’t read, Lol) and now I can’t help but love her even more. Without Merit is my latest read from Hoover and I still can’t get over it until now. It’s one of the last books I finished last year.

Honestly, for me, it’s not Hoover’s best but it’s just as brilliant as her other books! There are relatable characters, exciting storyline and some unpredictable twists and turns. Also, I dove into the story without really reading the plot so I’d no idea what to expect but I trusted Hoover. Fortunately, Hoover never disappoints! I love every part of the book and yes, I’m in love with Sagan, as I am with Hoover’s other Male leads. Hahaha.

Without Merit deals with issues around a family who’s like any other. A family with divorced parents, sibling rivalries and a wicked step mom. It stars Merit Voss, a girl who feels left out because she doesn’t know a thing about her family, or rather she knows everything about the member of her family. There’s Barnaby Voss, her father who cheated on his wife with his wife’s nurse. Victoria Voss, her mother who never leaves the basement because she’s sick. Utah Voss, the older brother with a secret that hurt Merit. Then there’s Honor Voss, Merit’s exact opposite though they’re identical twins. The other Victoria, Victoria’s (the first) nurse, the one Barnaby cheated with. And of course, there’s Luck which I came to really love at first but ended up hating a lot! Sagan, well, he’s the only normal character in the story, I guess, and oh, the sweet innocent Moby too,, of course! Butspite having complicated characters, they are all well-developed and I love how the story unfolds. I can say I related much with the story and if anything, it gives us a good message: it’ll surprise you how much communicating with your family will strengthen your relationship with them!

“I like you enough to kiss you. Believe me. But I just wish you could like yourself as much as I like you.”

Merit and Sagan hit it off the first time they met and I’ll be honest, it was a bit predictable but I didn’t care. I love how the story went and every turn of the page was like “can’t you just get together now please?!” because I was rooting for them from the very first page. Anyway, I know I’m not really giving you an informative review but there’s only one thing you need to know about this book: it’s crazy but not far from the reality of some family out there.

Poem: One Sided

why?
do you only see your side
what you do, what you say
why?
we only make you mad
you’re always right, you’re always mighty

do you?
see the efforts we make
what we do, what we say
do you?
hear our side, our take
everything’s our fault, everything’s on us

can you?
at least listen for once
to our feelings, to our side
can you?
see we’re doing our best, our all
because we love you too

21 ❤️ #4th My All

you were a good friend before you were a good lover
we were two different people but now we’re one
you used to tell me tales now you tell me the future
I used to reach for the stars but now I’ve found my treasure

you were once a what if but now you are mine
we were great together now I have a Valentine
you’re my star, you’re my hero, you’re my downfall
you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, you’re my all

21 ❤️ #3rd

The most beautiful feeling in the world is to have someone who has seen your worst side and stayed.

 -untamed-feelings

Triple Birthday Celebration 🎂🎂🎂

***

 ***

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!!!

(Dez, Kia, Larra)

I wish for more birthdays to come, good health, more blessings and happiness in everything we do :D

Cheers! 🍻🎉

Book: Always and Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han

★★★★/★★★★★

“Is this how it goes? You fall in love, and nothing seems truly scary anymore, and life is one big possibility?”

Always and Forever, Lara Jean was a big surprise when Jenny Han first announced that To All the Boys I've Loved Before (review here) will have a third book. Everyone was excited, so was I! The first two books were lovely and swoon-worthy but I think my favorite is Always and Forever, Lara Jean.

The conclusion to Lara Jean and Peter's story is inside Always and Forever, Lara Jean which I think is so cute and just perfect. I can't say I was a big fan of Peter Kavinsky in P.S. I Still Love You (review here), or To All The Boys I've Loved Before for that matter, but in this book, he's just so adorable and he's such a sweetheart! 

“Peter will love Lara Jean with all his heart, always”

 Lara Jean is enjoying her last year in high school; she's in love with her boyfriend Peter, her dad is going remarried and Margot will be home just in time for the wedding which excites them all. Everything is going right and she's having the best time of her life when suddenly her plans change when her College acceptance letter arrives. It makes Lara Jean think of a new plan which might affect her relationship with Peter. 

I love how the book focuses on Lara Jean and some of the changes in her life. Her father re-marrying Ms. Rothschild is a big change for them and I love how it makes not only her but Kitty and Margot as well to grow and accept the new addition to their family. Graduating high school and going to College is another big thing for Lara Jean and when her plan to go to the same university with Peter has changed, she has to think of a way how to compromise. Of course she wants to stay in a relationship with Peter and she's going to do everything just to keep it. 

All the characters have grown so much in me and I still love how heartwarming the story is. Lara Jean getting even closer with her family, her relationship with Chris (yes, her bestfriend, Chris!) and Peter, how she makes big decisions for herself and how much she's matured in this book. And the romance, of course I'm going to talk about the romance! Lara Jean and Peter are just sooo cute I want to keep them to myself! Peter Kavinsky actually made me fall in love with him!

“Being vulnerable, letting people in, getting hurt... it's all part of being in love.” 

Overall I adored this book! And if only it's not the last book! My advice, if you want a cute and lovely read, try To All the Boys I've Loved Before series if you haven't already. It wouldn't disappoint.

21 ❤

Don’t just give your heart to any guy, give it to someone who reaches for your hand during a prolonged moment of silence, just to remind you they’re still by your side. Give your heart to a man who pulls you close after a fight instead of pushing you away. Give it to a man who doesn’t make you doubt yourself or causes you to feel guilty for something you didn’t do. Give your heart to someone who’ll comfort you throughout periods of insecurity, when you’re feeling inadequate or lost. Someone who continuously reminds you of your worth.

Give your heart to a guy who would never cause you to feel inferior in your relationship, because he’ll do everything his power to make you feel the opposite. Give it to a man who shows genuine interest in your passions and supports you in every aspect of your life. Someone who will go the extra mile to make you smile.

Give your heart to a guy who will make you a priority instead of a second option.

A guy will follow you anywhere in the world merely because a life without you is unimaginable. 

Give your heart to a person who asks if something is wrong, instead of keeping silent for the sake of not starting an argument. Give it to the guy who takes responsibility for his actions and apologizes when he’s done something wrong. Someone who doesn’t allow an argument to overshadow your relationship or keeps score. Give it to the man who shows up at your doorstep to apologize simply because the thought of you being upset hurts him. Give your heart to a person who finds time to text you when he’s out with his friends rather than waiting until the end of the evening. Give it to someone who won’t take your feelings for granted and reminds you how he feels each day.

Give your heart to a man who will safeguard it with his life, because he knows the true value it holds. Don’t just give your heart to anyone. Find someone spectacular and never let go.

(c) Preach It

Book: Stuff I've Been Feeling Lately by Alicia Cook

★★★/★★★★★

Stuff I've Been Feeling Lately is another poetry book I was excited to get my hands on. It talks about grief, loss, love and such which will surely hit you at some point. The book is divided into two sides, Side A and Side B, and each side has track list like a cassette tape. 

Side A has full length poems, some I related with and some I totally loved! The song associated at the end of each poem also added some impact which I also liked. Side B has black out version of some poems from Side A which I think are my favorites.

Track Twenty Five
I am never going to be the girl with the perfectly
straightened hair or creased clothing. Even at my
most put together, I’ll look a bit   d i s h e v e l e d.
My socks will never match, but no one will notice
that except for my lover and airport security. At
the most inopportune times, I’ll have a run in my
stocking or a runny nose.
I’ll combine foods even a pregnant woman
wouldn’t crave. On way more than one occasion,
my friends have said out loud, I would not want to
spend one minute in your head.
I was always aware of what I encompassed. I have
never tried to conform because I did not feel the
pressure to do so (thanks, Mom!). Yes, this self-
assurance led to my grade school years being a
living hell, but even then I recognized that time
of my life as temporary .
I do not fear, nor am I ashamed of, myself.
As long as I am happy, it is my God-given right
to be odd. To be my true self.

Currently Listening To:
Taylor Swift, “Mean”

Track Sixty Three

Poem: I'm Free

Far away from your touch

I've been trying to move on since then

It's been years the last I hear from you

And I wish I won't ever again

Days filled with your memories

Just wanted to forget about everything

It's been hard enough remembering your face

And I've really been trying

Your eyes, your lips, your words

The feeling of your hand on mine

The images of us inside my head

Take them off of my mind

Today's the last your name will mean anything

Because today's the last I'll think of you

After this word I'll finally let go

And after this line I'll be free from you

Book: This Modern Love by Will Darbyshire

★★★★/★★★★

Dear Danny,
You are the definition of cliché;
Showing up at my doorstep with flowers,
Writing poems and love letters,
Framing our memories on your bedroom walls,
And filling up my life with laughter.
So predictable but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
To many more years together,
Faly
Singapore

I finished This Modern Love in one sitting last night and let me tell you, it's amazing! I accidentally found this book while browsing for new books to read and I'm glad I did when I did! It's a collection of letters, stories and photographs which are all lovely, heartwarming but also heartbreaking.

It's divided into three sections; beginning, middle and end. The beginning includes letters about crushes and when you first start falling in love. It's really fun reading all those letters, some I definitely related with and most were adorable. The middle section includes thank you letters sent by those in a relationship and the end section is composed of letters by people who had their heart broken before.

To my crush,
You’re the reason for the soft smile upon my face, the reason for my rosy cheeks and racing heart.
Thank you, just for being you.
Hannah
Connecticut, USA

***
Dear —— ,
I pushed you away and put up a wall to keep you out. To keep from getting hurt. I was scared of how I felt. I was scared I would hurt you, that you would hurt me. But now I know that you are perfect, perfect for me. I want you, no I need you. I want to spend every night holding your hand and be wrapped in your embrace. I want someone to care about me and protect me from all that is bad in this world. I just want you. I want you to love me again like I love you.
Danielle
Australia

***
Dear guy who I used to know,
I wish you never took me to the movies in my favorite cinema. I wish you never took me to my favorite restaurant. I wish you never spent christmas with me. I wish you never took me to Amsterdam. I wish you never kissed and hugged me in my room. I wish you never told me that you loved me at my favorite spot in my hometown. I wish you never gave me my favorite book for my birthday.
You’re gone now, but all my favorite places and things still remind me of you. They aren’t my favorite places and things anymore.
Anonymous

I really enjoyed reading the whole book. It has a good concept, letting people express their feelings through letters and if only I knew about this project, I would've joined and sent my letters.

Book: Salt by Nayyirah Waheed

 ★★★/★★★★★

even the small poems mean something. they are often
whales in the bodies of tiny fish.

Well, it took me a long time to finally get around this book but now I know why a lot of people loved it.

This poetry collection is beautiful but it hurts at the same time. It touches the subject like racism, sexism and those are difficult but important topics. Some pieces hit me hard but some I just didn't connect with.

you
are
your
own
standard of
beauty.
–– mirror work

knowing your power
is what creates
humility.
not knowing your power
is what creates
insecurity.
–– ego

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! ❤

🌸🌸🌸

To all the Mommy, Mama, Ma, Nanay, Nay, Mamay, Mom, Mie, Mamsie... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY po!

Always know that we thank you for the time, support, care, love and every single thing you give us.

And of course to my beautiful mom, I miss you already! See you in two months! Love you. :D

🌸🌸🌸

TV Series: Confess 2017

Main Characters:

Katie Leclerc as Auburn Reed

Ryan Cooper as Owen Gentry

Rocky Myers as Trey Taylor

Elliot Smithe as A.J.

Amy Pahn as Emory Le

Kyle Secor as Callahan Gentry

I remember reading and loving the book so much I've re-read it several times. I just love everything about the book―the lovely cover, the endearing characters, the touching plot and Colleen Hoover is just an amazing writer!

So imagine my surprise when it was announced that there was going to be a mini series for the book! I was like OMG! OMG! OMG! And no, I wasn't calling Owen, I was just so so excited! Then they announced who will play the characters (I like both Katie and Ryan, by the way) and then there was the shooting and Colleen teasing us with photos and then the trailer came out and then it was April!!!

[Warning: This post contains screenshots from the series]

I watched the whole series on April 5 (one sitting) and I loved it! I mean, yes, they changed some aspects of it but it was beautiful nonetheless. I think Katie and Ryan did a great job portraying Auburn and Owen though at first I was having second thoughts about Katie. Don't get me wrong, she's really really good but she wasn't what I expected Auburn to be. 

I loved Emory and AJ was super cute! I hated Lydia, of course, but I understand where she was coming from. The face of Trey in my head was definitely not Rocky Myers but I guess he worked out too. The paintings were BEAUTIFUL!!! I especially loved "Every time he touches me, I think of you." And I also had to smile when Colleen appeared at the auction in one of the episodes.

So I guess everything just worked out for this series. It's short, yes, but in those 7 episodes they were able to put life to the beautiful characters of  the book!

***

I'll love you forever even when I can't.
I'll love you forever even when I shouldn't. 

“When I turn the painting around to face me again, I run my fingers over it. I touch the space between the two hands, and I think about everything between the two of them that is pulling them apart. And I hope, for her sake, that Adam is right. I hope she does have a second fate. Because she deserves it.

Read my full review of Confess here.

Book: Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

 ★★★★/★★★★★
 
you've touched me
without even
touching me

 

I wasn't prepared to read this book. I didn't expect it to be this powerful, to be overflowing with emotions. Now I'm not sure what to feel because I'm so overwhelmed. This book has touched me and it's very beautiful. The words, the messages, the illustrations, everything. It's meant to be read.

The book is divided into four chapters; the hurting, the loving, the breaking and the healing, and each page will surely make you feel something, if not tug at your heart.

you might not have been my first love
but you were the love that made
all the other loves
irrelevant

***

i don't want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined
could set it on fire

***

nothing is safer
than the sound of you
reading out loud to me
- the perfect date

Book: Miracle on 5th Avenue by Sarah Morgan

★★★★/★★★★★

“I'm a glass half-full sort of person. That's not a crime. You see the bad in people, but I see the good. And I do believe there is good in most people.”

Miracle on 5th Avenue was my first Sarah Morgan book and it didn't disappoint. I actually planned on reading this one last Christmas but since I was kinda busy with other things, I moved reading it until now. I'm also thinking of picking up the first two books in the series since I like Morgan's writing a lot. Maybe some time soon when I find time. 

The story centers around Eva who runs an event and concierge business, Urban Genie, with her two best friends, Frank and Paige. Their business covers organizing events to walking dogs to decorating an apartment for Christmas. That's what happens when one of their clients, Mitzy, asks Eva to decorate her grandson's apartment who is away in Vermont, or so they thought. Eva, ever professional and so fond of Mitzy, wholeheartedly agrees thinking that no one is occupying the apartment and she can do her job undisturbed. Little did she know that there's a surprise waiting not only for Mitzy's grandson, Lucas Blade, but also for her. 

“I'm starting to understand why you don't date much. You're a hopeless romantic and you're waiting for Prince Charming?” The faint hint of humor needled her, even though she was used to being teased for her rose-tinted view on life.

“No, but even you have to agree Prince Charming is a more appealing character than Jack the Ripper.”

I'm a big fan of Christmas romance that's why I enjoyed this book a lot. I adore Eva so much she makes me want to fall in love! With Lucas Blade! Anyway, I think the characters are what I love most in this book. Eva is a hopeless romantic who always looks at the bright side of life. She's kind and sweet and she's the type of friend who never whines. After the death of her grandmother, she tries to live up everything she'd taught her, even being the sunshine in everyone's life even though sometimes she feels like crying. Lucas, on the other hand, believes that you can only love once. We all know he's wrong but he's so stubborn and his walls are all up. He's the exact opposite of Eva, always brooding and writes mystery/horror novel.

Now that they are in a situation they both didn't want but don't have a choice, they decided to just mind their own business. Eva will decorate Lucas's apartment while Lucas writes his book. But having writer's block, the last ting Lucas needs is a singing Eva in his kitchen whose cooking always distracts him! But soon he realizes that Eva is actually the solution to his writer's block.

I like Eva a lot and her personality is very admirable. She's so positive in everything, always seeing the good side of things. I also like her best friends Frankie and Paige. Throughout the book we get to read a little about them and from it I can already tell that I'm going to love them as much as I loved Eva! Mitzy also warmed my heart. She's so sweet and cares so much for both Lucas and Eva.

“Lucas was right. Love wasn't a fairy tale. It was messy and painful.”

Despite being opposites, Eva and Lucas found something in each other. After the death of his wife, Lucas chose to distance himself from others, keeping his pain to himself. He never thought that one Christmas, a woman will walk into his apartment, will put a giant Christmas tree inside and make him fall in love again. No, he never thought that Eva's singing and cooking will get through his icy personality. But he doesn't want to hurt Eva so he tries to push her away even though all he wants to do is pull her closer to him. Eva, on the other hand, knew what she's getting into when she starts feeling something for Lucas. She's honest so she never hides her feelings but what can she do when Lucas can't do the same? She really wants to be what her grandmother wanted her to be, to be the sunshine not the rain, but love hurts and Lucas is an ass.

I think everything in this book is perfect. The characters, the plot, the writing style and the snow! There are only two seasons here in our country; summer and rainy, so we don't get snow that's why I love reading about them. I think snow makes Christmas more magical and more romantic! Anyhow, I really enjoy this book. If you want a fun, Christmas romance with endearing characters, this one is for you.

Movie: Beauty and the Beast 2017

Like everyone else, I love Beauty and the Beast and since I was young I always wanted to be Belle! Who doesn't, anyway? Growing up, I've watched the animated movie a hundred times and finally watching the live-action movie, I adooooore it! My sisters and I went to see it last week and Emma Watson as Belle is perfect! We loved her, the other characters and the singing, oh the singing! Since my friends already have kids, we're used to playing Beauty and the Beast on tv everytime we meet to keep the kids occupied while we talk. 

“Love doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be true.”

 Everything about the movie is perfect from the very beginning. The songs are all amazing and the ones added are also beautiful! The characters are all endearing especially Mrs. Potts and Chip. And since my youngest sister is not familiar with the movie (unbelievable, right?) she had questions and I had to explain her things. I guess she's not just into Disney films unlike me and our other sister, Yana. But nonetheless she enjoyed it and was actually in love with Belle at the end! 

Have you seen the film? Hope you loved it as much as we did!