Silence means something.

Over thinking, tired of waiting, falling apart, crying inside, or all of the above.

All of the above.

-Over thinking. Mostly, on times like today, I should be just watching movies since we still don't have lectures and school work. But lately I've been thinking too much about our thesis since we had a problem regarding our subject. We had to change it and find another beach resort which was a bit hard. But thankfully now we found a good one and they already agreed on allowing us to conduct a survey. But there are still problems like money, time, transportation and accompanies. I'm in bankrupt mode right now so I'm having a problem where to get money that I can spend. Time, we only have a week left to do this and I know it's impossible that we finish it on time. But still, have hope. Transportation, we don't have a car and a driver. Fudge! And we also need people who we can share expenses with so that it won't be too much for our pockets.We're also having a problem with the revisions and questionnaires.Thesis, money, deadline and everything else, I don't know what to do anymore. T_T

-Tired of waiting. Honestly I don't mind waiting, but if it means waiting for forever, then forget it. I have other things to wait for so I better not waste my time on something or someone I know will take forever to come. But still, I want to wait, I want to hope. I don't know but I want to believe that somehow that thing or person will eventually come. Maybe not today, not tomorrow but someday.And maybe I'm tired of waiting but I know that when time comes, and that thing finally comes, then everything will be worth it. I hope. So even though I am tired of waiting, I will still wait. I will hang on and just believe and hope that someday, somehow, it will come.

- Falling apart. That feeling when you can't tell anyone how are you feeling inside.That you are tired, you are sad, you are broken, you are hurt and that you feel so alone. You just can't tell anyone because you feel that they don't care. You think that who cares if you feel alone, who cares if you are sad and who cares if you are broken. And it is normal to feel that way sometimes, but still it's nice to know that there is someone who can tell that you are not fine even though you tell her or him a million times that you are. It's nice to know that somehow, someone knows that  you are falling apart and that they are willing to pull you up, to help you up.

- Crying inside. Put on a smile and everything will be fine. Well, that's what I thought. But sometimes it's hard to put on a fake smile when you really want to cry. It's hard to pretend you're okay when you are really not. But you know what's harder? It is letting others think that you are fine without them noticing that you are only lying. It's hard, it's sad. But you still pretend because you think it's better that you keep it to yourself than telling people who don't give a damn whatever you feel. You think it's better to just keep it inside than bothering others with your endless drama. So sometimes, I have no choice but to smile and let others think that I am fine, that I am okay. I have to show them a fake smile and fool them even if it means fooling myself too.

But even though I feel these things, I am sure of one thing... God is always there for me and he will never ever leave me. He will always guide me and He will always be by my side. ❤



062712

May :)

Sunshine with a little rain :) I know May is gonna be a good one! 

- Well, today was fun. We gardened, cleaned, played around, ran in the rain, ate champorado, fixed the garage, trashed garbage, and just did whatever we wanted. It's been a while since I had a good time with my sisters so I was really happy :D :D

Hope this will continue. May, please be awesome! I want my summer to be wonderful and I want to create memories. Honestly my summer is just starting so please be good :)) 

S-U-M-M-E-R officially started for me! :D

KDrama: Dream High 2011

I just love this drama. The characters, the songs, the story but I was a bit disappointed with the ending. I mean why the hell did Hye mi and Sam dong end up together? Isn’t it supposed to be Hye mi and Shin kuk, right? Don't get me wrong,  I love Sam dong but the first part story made us all think that Hye mi and Shin kuk will end up together because of their childhood memories but what happened? Anyway, no matter what I do, it won’t change anymore. Even though I really wanted it to be Hye mi and Shin kuk. :(

I love the part where they sang and danced Genie of SNSD. I love how Hye mi did it, Shin kuk and Sam dong were just so cute and I love Pil suk’s voice. And also when Hye mi sang Winter Child for Shin kuk. Isn’t that sweet? :”>

But I can’t still get over the fact that Hye mi and Sam dong ended up together every time I watch this drama. Why did it have to be like that? Why can’t it be Hye mi and Shin kuk? Waaaaa…  Okay, I’m gonna shut up now. Hope Dream High 2 will be great :)

050512

Rain. Music. Me.

 

 

     Plug in earphones and ignore the world. I just love it when it’s raining and I sit beside the window just listening to my favorite songs. Watching the rain makes me feel good but there are also times when it makes me sad. Like today. I don’t know what’s wrong but I just feel so alone. Like I don’t have anyone to talk to. I feel like everyone’s running away from me and they don’t care about me. I just feel like that. And I don’t know why.

     That’s why I’m thankful to my iPod. It always accompanies me on times when I feel sad. I plug in my earphones and then everything else disappears. It’s like there’s only me and my iPod. I forget all those things that bother me because I’m listening to my favorite songs, just me and the songs. 

050612

Sometimes, just sometimes...

Sometimes, I need a friend too. Someone who will ask if I’m doing well even though she can see I am. Someone who will be there for me just to be sure I’m fine. Someone who will listen when I start talking about everything, someone who will stay when everybody else walks away. I need a friend who will comfort me when I start complaining about my life and just a friend who will say that everything will be fine. And for once, I want to be a friend too. Not the friend who always gives advice but the friend who will ask for some. Not the friend who always asks “what’s the problem?” but the friend who will be asked. Not the friend who always listens but the friend being listened to. Not the friend who always says everything will be fine but the friend being told to. Not the friend who always says I’m fine even though everything seems so hard but the friend who can also lean onto someone else. For once, I want to be that friend, the one who is comforted not the one who always pretend to be strong.

Just sometimes, I feel sad too. I maybe smiling but there are times when I feel down and alone. And sometimes I just need a friend to talk to. So I hope that whenever I need one, I can find someone by my side. :) 

 

050612

I love you from the very first day :">

--- Hi. Hello. I'm J. I'm D. Can we be friends? I love to. Can we date? I'll love to know you more. I think I like you. I think I like you too. Can you be my girlfriend? I love you. I love you too. ---

Love at first sight. The first time I saw you I already knew I love you :"> 

062312

First Love :">

Can you really forget your first love? I mean, does it really have a hold on you? I guess so. Coz until now, I still have that first love in my heart. Maybe past and hidden but never forgotten.

 

They always say that first love never dies and it always stays in your heart. I guess they're right. No matter how long it has been or no matter what happened, you can never forget your first love. And admit it or not, maybe not always just sometimes, you remember that person who made your heart skip a beat for the first time. Sometimes you think of what ifs with him. What if you're still together? What if it worked out? What if you held on? and things like those. And most of the time, seeing something that reminds you of that person, even just a single thing, brings back all the memories you had together. Good or bad, everything. It maybe a picture together, a shirt you used to share, a gift on your monthsary or even a text message. So many things that remind you of that person that sometimes you can't help but think about him again. And feelings start to haunt you again.

My first love was a not so good one. I was in 4th year high school then when someone confessed to me. He's a good and smart guy. He told me he liked me but I only thought of him as a friend. He used to call  me every night and texted me everyday. And he would call even though I already told him not to. It was like he never get tired of talking to me, and I liked it. I mean he was showing me his effort and it was nice to think that someone was making an effort just to talk to you. We used to exchange letters too but I only gave him heartbreaking ones. I would say in the letter things like, don't call me again! never ever call me again! and some other hurtful words. Well, it was not like I didn't like him but I just thought that we were still young for things like those. And I already felt that time that his feelings might still change so we should not hurry ourselves to it. But still we gave it a try. At first it was awkward but we get used to it. Until something came up and things just suddenly went wrong. And it ended. That was my first love. A very short but unforgettable one. 

And now, it's coming back to me. Every time I see that person, something inside me is thumping and saying things like here we go again and stay away from me. It's funny but old feelings come back every time I'm with him and it somehow feels great seeing him again. And I thought that somehow he changed but he really didn't. He's still caring and thoughtful just like before. He's still funny and smart and knows how to make me smile just like before. But I wonder if his feelings changed. Has he forgotten his feelings for me already or does he still likes me just like before? And maybe we didn't last when we tried before, but who knows this time we will. Who knows?

So it is really hard to forget your first love. It will always remain in the deepest part of your heart, hidden but not forgotten. 

Just like my first love.

 -062212

Father's Day! :))

Someday I will find my prince charming, but my dad will always be my king! :)

 Happy Father's Day to all daddy, dad, papa, tatay, tay, papang out there! Especially to the most handsome, galante, hardworking, caring, cool, and loving dad in the world, my daddy Ferdie! I love you daddy! :) You will always be my first love ♥

-061712

Late night confessions.

When you don’t need people to be around, they seem to be always there. But when the time comes that you need people to be around you, even just one person, it seems that no one’s there. :(

 -I hate it when I feel alone even though there's a lot of people around me. My family, my so called friends, strangers, I feel like no one cares and no one seems to notice me, like I'm invincible. They see me but they don't give a damn whether I'm fine or feeling okay. They just don't care. Well, who cares about me anyway? I mean, who will bother to ask someone like me how I'm feeling or how I'm doing. But it's okay since I'm used to it. I'm used to people ignoring me and just thinking I'm fine, always fine.
 And I wonder how it feels like to be asked how I'm doing or how I'm feeling. I wonder how it feels like to have someone by your side just looking after you coz he/she knew you're not fine even though you told him/her you're fine a million times. I wonder how it feels like to have someone comforting you and saying he'll/she'll never leave you no matter what happens. I always wonder.

But this is life, sometimes you cry, sometimes you smile, sometimes you break down and sometimes you feel high. But whatever happens, always know that there is someone who will never give up on you, God. Always think that you're not alone!

And I may feel sad, lonely, hurt, or broken and feel like my whole world is crashing and my life is a mess, but you know what? I don’t care. I’m just gonna smile and show everyone that everything will be fine, everything will be alright and I’m gonna be happy again. Eventually. 

061612

Just smile!

Sometimes it's tiring to cry too. So just smile and forget crying, it'll just make you ugly. :)

So don't cry, everything will be fine. Trust me! :) 

-061412

Don't worry, Be Happy!

Life moves pretty fast, if you don't enjoy it once in a while, you might miss it. So enjoy life, don't worry and be happy! :D

061212

Reasons to be HAPPY :)

*There are just so many reasons for you to be happy. Your family, your friends, your favorite band, ice cream or a free movie ticket are enough reason why you should be happy. Because sometimes, you just need to look around and appreciate what you have. :)

I have a lot of things that make me happy.

-God

-My family
-My friends
-Super Junior
-Blue
-Rain
-Food
-Drawing
-Movies
-Music
-Writing
-Bands
-Anime
-Overnights
-Traveling
-Beach
-Concerts
-Free movie invites
-Treats
-Flowers
-Kids

-Chocolates
-Shoes
-Clothes
-Bags
-New friends
-Adventure
-School
-Pizza
-Sweet Texts

-Marshmallow
See? Even marshmallow can make me happy :)

Everyone can be happy by just looking at the good side of life. Don't worry, God won't give you problems you can't solve. So just trust in him and be happy. This is life anyway. It will give you both bad and good things and it's up to you on how you would deal with them. Explore, enjoy and appreciate every little thing around you. Be happy and smile because it's free. 

SMILE :)

Movies 101

     I always wish that my life is like a movie. You know, a perfect life with my family and best friends. I'm in a great school where I'm popular and a lot of boys like me and things like that. Isn't that awesome? I mean who doesn't want a perfect life? Everyone wants it, but not everyone has it. It's only possible in movies that's why I want my life to be like those movies. Everything I want, the love story I always dreamed of, the happy life I always wanted, and the happy ever after ending. How perfect! But wake up, movies are movies and my life is just  far from those. Sooo far!

     

     But movie or not, I love my life. And maybe I should stop watching a lot of movies because they just give me high expectations about life. But even though, I love movies, a lot! :) So here are some of my favorite movies. Movies I can always watch anytime, anywhere, any occasion, any situation. I just  love them. ;)

- A Cinderella Story

 Once upon a time... can happen any time.

- New York Minute

 Anything can change in a New York minute.

- 27 Dresses

 She's about to find the perfect fit.

- Barbie as Rapunzel  

  Love and Imagination can change the world.

- Prom

 It's nice to be around someone who believes in something so much.- Jesse

- Bride Wars

 Best friends should share everything.. expect their wedding day!

-A Walk To Remember

 Our love is like the wind... I can't see it, but I sure can feel it. - Landon

- The Lucky One

 Sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people. - Elizabeth

- Sleep Over

 The rules are set. The game is on.

- The Last Song

 Do you ever really forget your first heartbreak?

- If Only

 His love for her forced fate to change.

- Letters To Juliet

 The greatest love story ever told... is your own.

- Dear John

 Two weeks together, that's all it took, two weeks for me to fall for you.- John

- The Proposal

 Margaret, will you marry me? Because I'd like to date you. - Andrew

- Titanic

 "You're crazy." - Rose
"That's what everybody says. But with all due respect, Miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship here." - Jack

- What A Girl Wants

 Trying to fit in. Born to stand out.

- 17 Again

 Who says you're only young once?

- The Notebook

 Behind every great love is a great story.

- Wind struck

  If only I can feel you....even as the win.

- Chasing Liberty

 How do you fall in love with the whole world watching?

- Lizzie McGuire

  The only risk in taking an adventure is not taking it at all.

- Love Wedding Marriage

 When a newly wedded marriage counselor learns that her seemingly happy parents are serious candidates for divorce, she throws all the rules out the window to repair their fractured relationship.

- Flipped

 You never forget your first love.

- Aquamarine

 When you find love, I guess it's really beautiful. I mean, that's what I've read in magazines. - Hailey

- The Vow

 I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. - Leo

- The Art of Getting By

 The toughest lesson is love.

- Confession of A Teenage Drama Queen

 She's making a scene over everything.

- Life As We Know It

  A comedy about taking it one step at a time.

- Tangled 

They're taking adventure to new lengths.

- Easy A

 A is for Awesome.- Olive

- Beastly

 Love is never ugly.

- Princess Diaries

 She rocks. She rules. She reigns.

- Prince & Me

 Finding your inner princess can be such a royal pain.

- Ice Princess

 From Scholastic...To Fantastic!

- So Close

 A gun is like a bird. If you don't grab it tightly enough, it flies away. If you grab it too tightly, it will die.- Hong Yat Hong

- Dare Devil

 When the streets have gone to Hell - have faith in the Devil.

- The Perfect Man

 Hey all you bloggers, it's me, the girl on the move. Well my mom got her heart broken again, so we're setting off on another big adventure. That's my mom's word for running away.- Holly

- Herbie Fully Loaded

 I'm being carjacked by my own car!- Maggie

- Snow White

Still the fairest of them all!

- Cinderella

 Midnight never strikes when you're in love.

- Beauty & The Beast

 The most beautiful love story ever told as it has never been seen before.

- Peter Pan

 All children grow up except one.

- Mulan

 This time, the princess saves the prince.

- Mulan 2

She's primped. She's engaged. She's back.

- Pocahontas

 Two different worlds. One true love.

- Sleeping Beauty

 Awaken to a World of Wonders!

- Mirror Mirror

 The Snow White legend comes alive.

- Tarzan

  An immortal legend. As you've only imagined.

- Tarzan 2  

 Be strong, be true, be forever *who you are*. - Kala

- Shrek

 The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again.

- Shrek 2 

 Once upon another time...

- Shrek the Third

 For the funniest happily ever after.

- The Lake House

 How do you hold on to someone you've never met?

- One For The Money

 She's looking for a few not-so-good men.

- Howl's Moving Castle

 "Let’s run! Don’t fight them, Howl!" - Sophie

"Sorry, I’ve had enough of running away, Sophie. Now I’ve got something I want to protect. It’s you." -Howl

- Spirited Away

 Once you meet someone, you never really forget them. 

And all these other movies...

- Whisper of the Heart
- Tales from Earthsea
- Secret World of Arriety
- The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
- Sunny
- He Was Cool
- Love So Divine
- A Moment to Remember 

-Pocahontas 2
- Hunchback of Notre Dame

- Tarzan and Jane

^o^

That’s where I’ll be waiting ♥

“You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.”