First Love :">

Can you really forget your first love? I mean, does it really have a hold on you? I guess so. Coz until now, I still have that first love in my heart. Maybe past and hidden but never forgotten.

 

They always say that first love never dies and it always stays in your heart. I guess they're right. No matter how long it has been or no matter what happened, you can never forget your first love. And admit it or not, maybe not always just sometimes, you remember that person who made your heart skip a beat for the first time. Sometimes you think of what ifs with him. What if you're still together? What if it worked out? What if you held on? and things like those. And most of the time, seeing something that reminds you of that person, even just a single thing, brings back all the memories you had together. Good or bad, everything. It maybe a picture together, a shirt you used to share, a gift on your monthsary or even a text message. So many things that remind you of that person that sometimes you can't help but think about him again. And feelings start to haunt you again.

My first love was a not so good one. I was in 4th year high school then when someone confessed to me. He's a good and smart guy. He told me he liked me but I only thought of him as a friend. He used to call  me every night and texted me everyday. And he would call even though I already told him not to. It was like he never get tired of talking to me, and I liked it. I mean he was showing me his effort and it was nice to think that someone was making an effort just to talk to you. We used to exchange letters too but I only gave him heartbreaking ones. I would say in the letter things like, don't call me again! never ever call me again! and some other hurtful words. Well, it was not like I didn't like him but I just thought that we were still young for things like those. And I already felt that time that his feelings might still change so we should not hurry ourselves to it. But still we gave it a try. At first it was awkward but we get used to it. Until something came up and things just suddenly went wrong. And it ended. That was my first love. A very short but unforgettable one. 

And now, it's coming back to me. Every time I see that person, something inside me is thumping and saying things like here we go again and stay away from me. It's funny but old feelings come back every time I'm with him and it somehow feels great seeing him again. And I thought that somehow he changed but he really didn't. He's still caring and thoughtful just like before. He's still funny and smart and knows how to make me smile just like before. But I wonder if his feelings changed. Has he forgotten his feelings for me already or does he still likes me just like before? And maybe we didn't last when we tried before, but who knows this time we will. Who knows?

So it is really hard to forget your first love. It will always remain in the deepest part of your heart, hidden but not forgotten. 

Just like my first love.

 -062212