Poem: Four Years...

It's been four years and I still miss you

And I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Should I pretend or should I let go

Or maybe I should just let you know...

You're still on my mind, I don't know why

And I still remember that sad goodbye

You said it straight looking in my eyes

Then you walk away leaving me with lies...

You didn't care, you left me crying

And I'd never thought I'll lose everything

'Coz you promised that we'll be together

You made me believe in forever...

But then you left, you were gone

And there I thought you were the one

You were my love story without the love

Four years and you're still the one...

(02172013)

I was cleaning my drawer when I found this poem I wrote two years ago. Reading it again made me smile and it brought back so many memories. Fours years? Gosh, four freaking years and I still haven't moved on. That was long. But who can blame me when I really liked that person. A lot, a lot! Too bad it didn't work out for us. Oh well, I guess that's just life. Nothing works out the way you want it to.

#life

“She likes to sleep. It makes her forget about it.” 

Everything. Sleep makes me forget about everything that I almost wish I could sleep forever. Almost.

I know it's normal to feel down, tired, sad, disappointed, rejected, heartbroken, left out, mad or confused sometimes. Or most of the times, everything at the same time. And I also know that it's okay to cry if you can't take it anymore. It's okay to take a breath or to pause or to scream or to cry your heart out. It's okay to let it all out. It's okay. But after, tell yourself you're gonna be fine, that everything is going to be fine. Because it's true that everything get's better, everything will be alright. You just have to believe it, you just have to make it alright. So scream now, let it all out then take a deep breath. And I'm sure tomorrow you'll feel better. Tomorrow you'll feel lighter. 

Believe me you will be fine! :)

 01292015

Book: I've Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella

Can You Keep A Secret was my first book of Sophie Kinsella. I was 2nd year in College then and it became my favorite book right away. I read it again and again until I decided to give it a rest. I just loved to read Emma and Jack Harper over and over until they finally got together! Tsk. 

Then just last year I found another book of Sophie Kinsella, I've Got Your Number, and then the same feeling went through me again. I love the book! 

 

★  ★ ★ ★ ★/★ ★ ★ ★ ★

It's been on my reading list for a while now but I was only able to read it recently.

The book is great. It's one of those books that I love because it's not your typical story. 

It's about Poppy Wyatt who loses her engagement ring weeks before her wedding day. Not only that, her phone, which should be how the hotel staff would contact her in case they find the ring, is also stolen. Poppy's day couldn't get any more worse until she finds a phone in a trash bin. Ha! Finders keepers. So she leaves her new found number at the hotel in case they find her ring. Now all she has to do is to keep the phone and wait. But there's still a problem. The phone's owner wants his phone back. Sam Roxton is a busy businessman who needs a secretary to read and reply to all his private/business emails and messages. But now that his secretary just threw his phone away, he needs it back. Because he doesn't really want Poppy or anyone reading his messages. But Poppy needs it too. They both need the phone so they agree to help each other. And that's how their story begins. 

It's a good read that anyone would love. It's sweet and funny and surprising and funny and romantic and funny! It's only my second book of Sophie Kinsella but I already love her! I haven't read the Shopaholic series but I will. And I know I wouldn't be disappointed! :D

“Lover? I don't know. I don't know if she loves me. I don't know if I love her. All I can say is, she's the one I think about. All the time. She's the voice I want to hear. She's the face I hope to see.” - Sam Roxton

 ― Sophie Kinsella, I've Got Your Number 

“But sometimes you have to be brave. Sometimes you have to show people what's important in life.”
― Sophie Kinsella, I've Got Your Number  

“He's the one I think about. All the time. He's the voice I want to hear. When my phone bleeps, I hope it's him.” - Poppy Wyatt
― Sophie Kinsella, I've Got Your Number  

01082015

#time

Gosh! I just found out that Pierre already has 2 daughters. I feel old. -__- I remember he was only 22 when I first knew him. And Avril!!!! She was only 19 then but now she's on her second husband. Amy Lee is pregnant! Whaaaaaat? #time #foreveryoung #childhood

  

 I miss the good old times when my sisters and I would just stay home all day, playing our favorite songs like My Happy Ending, Losing Grip, Welcome To My Life, I'd Do Anything, My Immortal, and Going Under and we will just sing our hearts out pretending we were on a concert. I remember when we used to buy cds and just play them all day and never getting bored. Those times. :(

#avril

#simpleplan

#evanescence 

022814 

Letter to Someone...

Dear A, 
     First of all I want to say, "Hi!". I know we don't talk much right now because of the fight we had months ago and we actually ignore each other even though we're just living on one house and sleeping on one bedroom but I want you to know that I miss you. We maybe hate each other right now and it's awkward that we try really hard just to avoid talking to each other but I know someday we'll learn to forgive each other eventually. Both of us were at fault but neither of us want to say sorry and I know that as long as we don't say sorry or even just talk to each other then we will never be able to fix this thing between us. We used to be bestfriends and you're my sister but now we ignore each. You act like I'm invisible and I do the same and I wonder how long are we gonna do this. I'm tired. I don't want to fight anymore but I don't know what to do. You always act like nothing scares you, you always raise your voice to us, everything we do is wrong for you and you always push us away from you. We want to forgive you, we want to talk to you but you don't want to reach out. Everytime we try you always find a way to ruin the moment and make us hate you more. I'm not the only one who is affected but also Yana and Aly. We're sisters, we're supposed to love and care for each other but what happened? We miss you. We love you and we want us to be bestfriends and sisters again, always laughing and always caring for each other. Christmas is coming and maybe fixing everything between us will be a great gift. I really hope we can work things out between us. Merry Christmas!

Dezel

121913

I wanna be...

Happy.

Good Enough.

Beautiful.

Crazy.

In Love.

or maybe I just really want to be ME.

112813

Stop. Breathe. Smile.

 

Sometimes, you have to stop thinking so much and just go wherever your heart takes you. ❤

Take a break and breathe. Sometimes we just need to forget about everything for a while and just enjoy ourselves. Relax. Have fun. Life is a crazy ride so we need to ride on. Be crazy, be weird, be happy. Take chances and do adventures. Live. 

102213

Again...

"If someone has enough courage to ask you a question seriously, then you should be brave enough to answer truthfully."

Why does he have to make it so complicated? All he has to do is ask! I've been waiting patiently but I think I can't wait anymore. I'm so done. :(

 09132013

Poem: Waiting For Forever...

-JUST FRIENDS-

It was childhood days when we first met

And it was your face I couldn't forget,

We used to play and study together

Those were old good days when we were younger...

Three years and things worked out just fine

We were happy and excited all the time,

I guess we both knew but we haven't told

Maybe we just have to wait until we're old...

-FRIENDS TO STRANGERS-

We used to talk all night and all day

Then things changed like we didn't know what to say,

Maybe you've already changed and moved on

But I guess this is life and it goes on...

-FRIENDS AGAIN-

Years gone by and we started talking again

We acted like nothing really happened,

So we were friends again and I was happy

And I felt different suddenly...

-WAITING FOR FOREVER-

You were gone again and I don't know what to do

Should I keep waiting or should I forget you?

I tried my best but nothing happened

I guess I had enough and I can't wait again...

09102013

It's you!

Why are you so manhid? Isn't it too obvious that all my posts are about you and yet you still don't have any idea, even a slightest idea, that it's you. Do I still have to mention you on every post I make? Do I still have to write your name and be proud that you're ignoring me? Do I still have to show everyone that I like you even though you don't want to talk to me. Okay. I'll do that. Maybe no. Never. 

And it's so funny when you have everything about him on your posts and still he doesn't know it's him.

I give up. Ako na nga ung gumagawa ng paraan pero wala pa din. I'll open up a conversation but still you wouldn't do anything to continue it. I mean, I'll say hi and you'll say hello and that's it. You wouldn't reply after. It's like if I say okay, you'll say okay too and that'll kill the conversation. Such a waste. Sad. We both know what's there between us but what are you doing? Have you changed your mind about me? Have you already realized that you don't like me anymore like how you liked me before? It's fine! Just tell it to me and I'll understand. It's better than making me hanging on on something hopeless. Just say it. Coz I'm tired of waiting and wondering if there's still something between us.

 Slowing drifting away...

I'm tired of having feelings. :(

072513

Book: The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

Oh. My. Gosh. I cried a lot because of this book. 

It was really good and wonderful and beautiful and everything. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”  -Augustus Waters

 ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I wouldn't talk about what the book is all about but I will tell you my thoughts about it.

So, first, I loved it. I loved Hazel Grace. I love how she'd been so strong, how she fought cancer, how she liked it that Augustus called him Hazel Grace, how she flirted with Augustus by just saying "okay", how she read An Imperial Affliction over and over again, how she needed to know the next thing that happens to Anna, her mom and the Dutch tulip man, how she loved Augustus, how she got angry at Peter Van Houten and how she still missed Augustus. And I loved Augustus Waters. I loved the way he called Hazel, Hazel Grace, how he put a cigarette on his lips but never lighted one, how he was described as sexy, how he spent his wish to bring Hazel to Amsterdam to meet Peter Van Houten, how he flirted with Hazel on the phone, how he was willing to be heart broken as long as it was Hazel Grace and how he said "I'm in love with you" to Hazel Grace. I loved the story, the characters, and everything about it. And did I mention that I loved it?

"Okay."

I also heard that this will be made into a movie so I'm really excited. This would be a great one and I know people will love it too. I also  introduced this book to my sister and she told me she will find time to read it because she's so busy with school works. Yey! Now I have someone to talk to about Hazel Grace and Augustus. :))

072313

Little Miss...

Lazy. I feel like I can sleep for weeks. Or forever. I don't want to get up and just bury myself  on my bed. I feel like it's bed weather everyday. Like everyday is a nothing special day so I'll just  sleep and sleep and sleep til I don't wake up anymore. Even my fingers don't want to move. My hair freezes and my body just won't move. Lazy me.
 
Foolish. I know I'm young. And I admit I'm foolish. Every young people is foolish. That's given. But wasting my time on unimportant things and letting time pass by without doing anything worth it, I think that's even more foolish. Yes, I'm still young but no, I won't be foolish forever. Maybe I'm just enjoying my life and it's okay to be foolish once in a while. That's just so foolish of  me.

Heartbroken. I don't mind being single. But I mind being heartbroken even though I'm single. Just how  did that happen? I don't know either. He's not my boyfriend, we don't even talk, but then it hurts like hell when I see him with someone else. It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. Am I that pathetic? Heartbroken me.

Indecisive. Yes.  No. Maybe. I'm not sure. I'll think about it. Life is too short to think twice about things you really want. Trust your instincts. If it tells you yes, then yes. If it tells you no, then no. Coz opportunities pass in a blink of an eye. You must learn to grab it before it's gone. It's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to explore, coz it's better to say "at least I tried" than "I should've done it." That's so indecisive of me.

Moody. One second I'm happy, the next I'm mad. One second I'm excited, the next I'm sad. Sometimes I really think I must be crazy. With my mood swings and everything, it affects not only me but everyone around me. And as much as I want to be happy, my mood tells me no. Moody me.

Overemotional. Maybe I should stop being so emotional with everything that's happening in my life.Maybe I should just keep it to myself and get over it right away. Like how everyone easily forgets about me. I know. I'm being emotional right now but that's reality. Everyone forgets. Everyone leaves. It's hard but we should accept it. That's just overemotional me.

071513

29 Dates To Go On With Your Best Friends :)

By Chelsea Fagan 

1. Go to an amusement park together and try all of the rides you’re normally too scared to go on. (Make sure to eat the cotton candy and snow cones after you spin around in circles for hours.)

2. Stay up all night when it’s nice out and drink wine under the stars, talking about all the things you’re usually too embarrassed or afraid to admit.

3. Treat yourselves to a nice dinner out at a fancy place when one of you gets a Groupon for it. Order dishes made for two and laugh when the waiter and other diners look at you bizarrely.

4. Pick a recipe that you’re almost 100 percent sure you’re not skilled enough to make, and make it together. (Feel free to have a fair amount of wine throughout the cooking process, even if it means you’re more likely to mess the recipe up.)

5. Go to an apple orchard or pumpkin patch and pick produce while wearing adorable, hand-knitted scarves. Instagram pictures of yourselves and basically make everyone else want to vomit with how adorable you are.

6. Get absurdly dressed up and go to your high school reunion together, only to get buzzed on champagne and judge everyone in the corner together.

7. Watch all of your favorite movies all day curled up under blankets, drinking hot cocoa and eating popcorn.

8. Go to a bar for happy hour and eat 25-cent wings until your tummies hurt.

9. Take a road trip on the weekend to a place in your area you’ve never been before. Find a place to couch surf, or sleep outdoors if the weather is nice. Bring a cooler full of snacks and drinks to share with people you meet along the way.

10. Go to a zoo.

11. Go to a petting zoo and spend an inordinate amount of time cuddling with a baby pig while you take pictures of each other and plot how you’re going to steal it.

12. Listen to a new album that you’ve both been hearing about for a long time but haven’t taken the time to listen to yet, and then talk (or possibly blog) about what you think of it.

13. Go to a really fancy store where you know the salespeople are going to be really bitchy and judgmental, and take all the time your little hearts desire looking at things/trying them on, regardless of the sideways glares you’re getting.

14. Go to a thrift store afterwards and pick up things infinitely more interesting, and for 1/100th the price.

15. Make delicious snacks such as chocolate-dipped pretzels and white cheddar popcorn, then sneak them into the movie theater with you to go watch a kid’s movie. Also consider a Powerade bottle full of rosé wine.

16. Re-watch all the episodes of your favorite TV show.

17. Read an issue of Cosmo cover-to-cover and make fun of everything (while secretly noting the things which seem like they’re going to be useful/sexy).

18. Go to a museum and pretend to understand the first thing about art.

19. Go walk around your old school grounds and see what’s different, and what’s the same. (Try not to marvel at how much older you look than everyone now.)

20. Spend all afternoon in a coffee shop, reading books next to each other and watching people come in and out.

21. Go sledding when it snows, even if the hill is pathetically small. Make a ramp out of packed snow and take videos of each other busting your asses falling off of it.

22. Play Truth or Dare, and actually do everything you get dared to do. Yes, even if it’s “Run through the snow in your underwear screaming ‘penis’ at the top of your lungs.” And be honest when the truth comes, even if it’s really embarrassing.

23. Have an arts-and-crafts session where you make one another paintings to hang up in your respective apartments. And hang them up, even if they look terrible. They’ll be the best piece of wall art you’ll ever have.

24. Bake cupcakes.

25. Go for a long walk in the park, not necessarily talking, but just enjoying being in a beautiful place together when the weather is nice and the animals are out.

26. Go to a pet store and play with the puppies until you’re essentially in tears over the fact that you can’t have one.

27. Offer to pet-sit for someone and quench your puppy-owning thirst by taking care of one together for a few days.

28. Learn a new sport together, even if you’re both terrible at it. Even if you give up after the first tennis lesson, or ski session, or turn around the ice skating rink. Give it a try and don’t laugh at each other (too much).

29. Play board games at your house with fancy cocktails and yummy snacks and good music, and don’t worry about who wins or how late you stay up. Try to remember that having time with them is precious, and should never be taken for granted. Even if they always beat you at Monopoly. 


-This sounds good. I suddenly miss my bestfreinds. It's just sad that we're kinda in a not so good relationship right now. :(

070613

Oh My Lee. :(((((

I wanna see him this Saturday but there's no chance at all. And it breaks my heart! I've been waiting for this and now that he's here, I can't even see him. Poor me. Just why it has to be this month? If only it would be on September or October! Oh please, why is life so unfair? </////3

My Everything... shatters  tomorrow. :((((

070513

Superman by Taylor Swift ♫♪

Tall, dark and super manly  

Puts papers in his briefcase and drives away  

To save the world or go to work  

It's the same thing to me
 
He's got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition  

I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him  

I hang on every word you say
 
You'll smile and say "How are you?"  

And I'll say, "Just fine"  

I always forget to tell you I love you  

I'll love you forever
 
I watched Superman fly away  

You've got a busy day today  

Go save the world I'll be around
I watched Superman fly away  

Come back, I'll be with you someday  

I'll be right here on the ground  

When you come back down
 
Tall, dark and beautiful  

He's complicated, he's irrational  

But I hope someday he'll take me away  

And save the day, yeah
 
Something in his deep brown eyes has me saying  

He's not all bad like his reputation  

And I can't hear one single word they say
 
And you'll leave, got places to be  

And I'll be okay  

I always forget to tell you I love you 

I loved you from the very first day
 
I watched Superman fly away  

You've got a busy day today  

Go save the world I'll be around
And I watched Superman fly away  

Come back, I'll be with you someday  

I'll be right here on the ground  

When you come back down
 
And I watch you fly around the world  

And I hope you don't chase another girl  

Don't forget, don't forget about me 
 
I'm far away, but I'll never let you go 

I'm lovestruck and looking out the window  

Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be
 
Right here wishing the flowers were from you  

Wishing the card was from you  

Wishing the call was from you  

'Cause I've loved you from the very first day
 
I watched Superman fly away  

You've got a busy day today  

Go save the world I'll be around forever and ever
 
I watched Superman fly away 

I swear, I'll be with you someday  

I'll be right here on the ground  

When you come back down
Come back down

 

- Superman by Taylor Swift

KLM. Why J?

"Still" into you...

Oh. My. D!

After all this time, I'm still into you.

It was just a dream. Effin' dream!

Why did I have to dream about you anyway?

Why?
I should be over all this butterflies.

But... I'm still into you.

Still into you.

Why am I singing?

Ugh!

I hate myself everytime I remember that dream.

Because I blush.

I still can't forget about him.

Oh gosh!

Someone please remind me that I should be over him by now.

Please!

Move on?

Get over him?

Yeah right.

If only I can.

Bow.

062813

Hard times can't last forever!

There will always be bad times in everyone's life and I think the past few days were just some of those for me... A lot had happened and I'm feeling down because of it. :(

I know I'm not that bad but these past few days, I noticed that I'd been hard headed and mean towards my sister. We argue a lot and last time was the worst ever. I talked back to her and even cursed her that I regretted  it after. We used to argue before but not like that. And when we fight, we don't usually kick each other, we don't say mean words and we don't curse each other. But that time, we were like strangers and not sisters. We said a lot of things that we regretted after. It was sad, it was depressing, it was not right. And just this evening we had another fight. This time it's my fault. I know it's my fault. But I would've not do that if she just apologized for what she did the last time. Coz until now she hasn't apologized for kicking me 5 times. I still hate her for that and I swore I wouldn't do anything she asked unless she apologized. I know she's older than me but I don't care. She did something wrong so she should apologize. I know I'm at fault too but she's too much. She always does whatever she wants and she doesn't care if it hurts us or not. I hate her! Now I'm feeling bad because I know I'm at fault too and that I did something wrong. But I just can't let her do whatever she wants. I have feelings too and I hate her.

Another thing is the problem with my youngest sister. She's only 12 but her attitude is very different from those normal 12-yr-old girls. She's hard headed, doesn't have interest on studying, always want to go somewhere, so into texting, facebook, twitter and what's surprising is she already has a boyfriend. (While I don't have. Wow) It's hard dealing with her now a days and it's worrying our parents. Our parents are both away from here so it's really hard even though they want to talk to her.

Past days were a bit hard for me, us, but I know it can't last forever. We just have to believe that everything will be okay soon. I hope! :)

062613

I hate!

Your bad attitude. Your selfish self. Your arrogant mind. Your big mouth. Your poor understanding. Your nasty tongue. Your ill temper. Your everything. YOU!

Just why in the world do I have to have someone like you in my life? You're everything I hate and I hate you for that! Seriously. Like I can pull all your hair out and slap you in the face with a chair! That hate. Grr. And I hate you but I can't hate you. It's unfair right? I want to hate you all my life but I just can't do that and I hate it! I HATE IT! I actually can't hate you and it's depressing. I want to, I have to! Just why can't I? :(( 

"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too."
-Will Smith

 062013

Poem: Everytime...

It's like I want you to talk to me but I get speechless everytime you speak.

It's like I want you to hold my hand but I get paralyzed eveytime you move.

It's like I want you to call my name but I walk away everytime you do.

It's like I want you to stop me but I'm already gone everytime you do.

060913

3:00 am

It's 3:00am and my eyes are still wide open. I wanna sleep but my head won't let me. I'm not sleepy at all. Everyone else is already sleeping, dreaming. Maybe they're on their dreamland now. Happy. Contented. I wanna be there too but I don't want it to end. I wanna stay there, if I can...

 060813