MovingOn 101

There are so many reasons why couples break up. Personal, family-related or sometimes just plain stupid reason. But whatever it may be, there's gotta be one. You may not understand it now but you have to accept the fact that they choose to end things with you, to leave. And sometimes you can't do anything about it. It's their choice, their decision.

Nobody said it's easy to move on. But nobody also said that it's impossible. Yes, it's hard but in time you'll eventually learn how to let go and realize that sometimes there are people who don't belong in your life anymore. So here are the things you need to do so you can finally move on from your past (him). 

*Throw everything that reminds you of him.

Gifts, love letters, photos, his shirt. These things are memories and as long as they are around, it's impossible for you to erase him from your head. Throw them away or donate them in the charity. It'll make you feel better because at least you know that they go to a good cause. 

*Eat ice cream. A lot of ice cream! 

Ice cream always help. And who doesn't love ice cream anyway? Talk about him one last time over ice cream and a good cry with you bestfriends but make sure to forget about him after. There's nothing ice cream can't solve, they say.  

*Go out more, meet new people.

Meeting new people is good because it will distract you from thinking about him. Making new friends will help you create new memories that can replace the ones from your past. Especially the ones about him. So don't just stay home and go have dates with your bestfriends.

*Don't stalk his Facebook/Instagram account. 

It won't help. It will only make you bitter. And you don't want to be the creepy ex girlfriend who stalks her ex so don't. Just don't! 

*Ignore things that have meaning to you when you were still together.

Anniversary date, his favorite band and places you used to go to. Try not to sulk when your anniversary date comes, don't turn off the radio when his favorite band is playing, don't avoid places you used to go to with him, act like they don't mean anything to you and eventually they won't anymore. It just needs a little getting used to and a little patience.  

*Be open to someone new. 

Say 'yes' when someone asks you to a movie. Say 'yes' when someone asks you out on a dinner. Try to open up with someone new and get to know them more. Even just as friends, they will somehow take your thoughts away from your past. 

*Try not to get affected when you hear his name.

Surely he's not the only one with the name Ryan or Martin or Tom so try not to react whenever you hear his name. Better yet, think that someone might be calling for their dog or cat.

*Don't be bitter, it's not good. 

When you see him again, smile and show him what he lost when he left. Don't let him get into you again and show him that you're better off without him. Smile then walk away. 

*Move on.

It's hard but you have to. It may take a while but you need to. Forget about him. 

If after all these you can't still let go, then you're screwed! 

(Kidding! Of course it takes time. But the best way to move on is to find someone new.)

#life

“She likes to sleep. It makes her forget about it.” 

Everything. Sleep makes me forget about everything that I almost wish I could sleep forever. Almost.

I know it's normal to feel down, tired, sad, disappointed, rejected, heartbroken, left out, mad or confused sometimes. Or most of the times, everything at the same time. And I also know that it's okay to cry if you can't take it anymore. It's okay to take a breath or to pause or to scream or to cry your heart out. It's okay to let it all out. It's okay. But after, tell yourself you're gonna be fine, that everything is going to be fine. Because it's true that everything get's better, everything will be alright. You just have to believe it, you just have to make it alright. So scream now, let it all out then take a deep breath. And I'm sure tomorrow you'll feel better. Tomorrow you'll feel lighter. 

Believe me you will be fine! :)

 01292015

Again...

"If someone has enough courage to ask you a question seriously, then you should be brave enough to answer truthfully."

Why does he have to make it so complicated? All he has to do is ask! I've been waiting patiently but I think I can't wait anymore. I'm so done. :(

 09132013

Poem: Waiting For Forever...

-JUST FRIENDS-

It was childhood days when we first met

And it was your face I couldn't forget,

We used to play and study together

Those were old good days when we were younger...

Three years and things worked out just fine

We were happy and excited all the time,

I guess we both knew but we haven't told

Maybe we just have to wait until we're old...

-FRIENDS TO STRANGERS-

We used to talk all night and all day

Then things changed like we didn't know what to say,

Maybe you've already changed and moved on

But I guess this is life and it goes on...

-FRIENDS AGAIN-

Years gone by and we started talking again

We acted like nothing really happened,

So we were friends again and I was happy

And I felt different suddenly...

-WAITING FOR FOREVER-

You were gone again and I don't know what to do

Should I keep waiting or should I forget you?

I tried my best but nothing happened

I guess I had enough and I can't wait again...

09102013

It's you!

Why are you so manhid? Isn't it too obvious that all my posts are about you and yet you still don't have any idea, even a slightest idea, that it's you. Do I still have to mention you on every post I make? Do I still have to write your name and be proud that you're ignoring me? Do I still have to show everyone that I like you even though you don't want to talk to me. Okay. I'll do that. Maybe no. Never. 

And it's so funny when you have everything about him on your posts and still he doesn't know it's him.

I give up. Ako na nga ung gumagawa ng paraan pero wala pa din. I'll open up a conversation but still you wouldn't do anything to continue it. I mean, I'll say hi and you'll say hello and that's it. You wouldn't reply after. It's like if I say okay, you'll say okay too and that'll kill the conversation. Such a waste. Sad. We both know what's there between us but what are you doing? Have you changed your mind about me? Have you already realized that you don't like me anymore like how you liked me before? It's fine! Just tell it to me and I'll understand. It's better than making me hanging on on something hopeless. Just say it. Coz I'm tired of waiting and wondering if there's still something between us.

 Slowing drifting away...

I'm tired of having feelings. :(

072513

Book: The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

Oh. My. Gosh. I cried a lot because of this book. 

It was really good and wonderful and beautiful and everything. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”  -Augustus Waters

 ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I wouldn't talk about what the book is all about but I will tell you my thoughts about it.

So, first, I loved it. I loved Hazel Grace. I love how she'd been so strong, how she fought cancer, how she liked it that Augustus called him Hazel Grace, how she flirted with Augustus by just saying "okay", how she read An Imperial Affliction over and over again, how she needed to know the next thing that happens to Anna, her mom and the Dutch tulip man, how she loved Augustus, how she got angry at Peter Van Houten and how she still missed Augustus. And I loved Augustus Waters. I loved the way he called Hazel, Hazel Grace, how he put a cigarette on his lips but never lighted one, how he was described as sexy, how he spent his wish to bring Hazel to Amsterdam to meet Peter Van Houten, how he flirted with Hazel on the phone, how he was willing to be heart broken as long as it was Hazel Grace and how he said "I'm in love with you" to Hazel Grace. I loved the story, the characters, and everything about it. And did I mention that I loved it?

"Okay."

I also heard that this will be made into a movie so I'm really excited. This would be a great one and I know people will love it too. I also  introduced this book to my sister and she told me she will find time to read it because she's so busy with school works. Yey! Now I have someone to talk to about Hazel Grace and Augustus. :))

072313

Little Miss...

Lazy. I feel like I can sleep for weeks. Or forever. I don't want to get up and just bury myself  on my bed. I feel like it's bed weather everyday. Like everyday is a nothing special day so I'll just  sleep and sleep and sleep til I don't wake up anymore. Even my fingers don't want to move. My hair freezes and my body just won't move. Lazy me.
 
Foolish. I know I'm young. And I admit I'm foolish. Every young people is foolish. That's given. But wasting my time on unimportant things and letting time pass by without doing anything worth it, I think that's even more foolish. Yes, I'm still young but no, I won't be foolish forever. Maybe I'm just enjoying my life and it's okay to be foolish once in a while. That's just so foolish of  me.

Heartbroken. I don't mind being single. But I mind being heartbroken even though I'm single. Just how  did that happen? I don't know either. He's not my boyfriend, we don't even talk, but then it hurts like hell when I see him with someone else. It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. Am I that pathetic? Heartbroken me.

Indecisive. Yes.  No. Maybe. I'm not sure. I'll think about it. Life is too short to think twice about things you really want. Trust your instincts. If it tells you yes, then yes. If it tells you no, then no. Coz opportunities pass in a blink of an eye. You must learn to grab it before it's gone. It's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to explore, coz it's better to say "at least I tried" than "I should've done it." That's so indecisive of me.

Moody. One second I'm happy, the next I'm mad. One second I'm excited, the next I'm sad. Sometimes I really think I must be crazy. With my mood swings and everything, it affects not only me but everyone around me. And as much as I want to be happy, my mood tells me no. Moody me.

Overemotional. Maybe I should stop being so emotional with everything that's happening in my life.Maybe I should just keep it to myself and get over it right away. Like how everyone easily forgets about me. I know. I'm being emotional right now but that's reality. Everyone forgets. Everyone leaves. It's hard but we should accept it. That's just overemotional me.

071513

Hard times can't last forever!

There will always be bad times in everyone's life and I think the past few days were just some of those for me... A lot had happened and I'm feeling down because of it. :(

I know I'm not that bad but these past few days, I noticed that I'd been hard headed and mean towards my sister. We argue a lot and last time was the worst ever. I talked back to her and even cursed her that I regretted  it after. We used to argue before but not like that. And when we fight, we don't usually kick each other, we don't say mean words and we don't curse each other. But that time, we were like strangers and not sisters. We said a lot of things that we regretted after. It was sad, it was depressing, it was not right. And just this evening we had another fight. This time it's my fault. I know it's my fault. But I would've not do that if she just apologized for what she did the last time. Coz until now she hasn't apologized for kicking me 5 times. I still hate her for that and I swore I wouldn't do anything she asked unless she apologized. I know she's older than me but I don't care. She did something wrong so she should apologize. I know I'm at fault too but she's too much. She always does whatever she wants and she doesn't care if it hurts us or not. I hate her! Now I'm feeling bad because I know I'm at fault too and that I did something wrong. But I just can't let her do whatever she wants. I have feelings too and I hate her.

Another thing is the problem with my youngest sister. She's only 12 but her attitude is very different from those normal 12-yr-old girls. She's hard headed, doesn't have interest on studying, always want to go somewhere, so into texting, facebook, twitter and what's surprising is she already has a boyfriend. (While I don't have. Wow) It's hard dealing with her now a days and it's worrying our parents. Our parents are both away from here so it's really hard even though they want to talk to her.

Past days were a bit hard for me, us, but I know it can't last forever. We just have to believe that everything will be okay soon. I hope! :)

062613

3:00 am

It's 3:00am and my eyes are still wide open. I wanna sleep but my head won't let me. I'm not sleepy at all. Everyone else is already sleeping, dreaming. Maybe they're on their dreamland now. Happy. Contented. I wanna be there too but I don't want it to end. I wanna stay there, if I can...

 060813

Tired.

All the time.

5am. Traffic. Congestion. Late. Events. Event Forms. Meetings. Papers. Calls. Time. Heels. Distance. Skirt. Mistakes. Communication. Cellphone. Overtime. Travel Time. Money. Distance. School. Back Subjects. Schedule. Professor. Everything. Tiring.

God, please give me strength. Thank You! :)

111412

A Good Cry.

Sometimes you just need a good cry. You just need to scream out all your problems and all the things that bother you. Cry out all your worries and believe that it's time to let the good thoughts fill you. Let go of your anger and be relieved. Cry yourself out and believe that after that cry, everything will be fine. Everything will be okay and everything will be alright. Just cry and let everything be fine. :)

I don't know why I feel this way but I'm hurt. I admit that I'm not a perfect girl, nobody is, and I make mistakes but I know in myself that I'm not doing anything that I know would be bad for me and is wrong. I sometimes lie but I have my reasons. I'm a teenager and it's just normal that I explore many things. I go on adventure, I try different things and I meet new people but I know my limitations. I also make decisions for myself that I know will be good for me. And I won't do anything bad coz I know the consequences of my actions. I believe that I know what's good and bad for me and I believe that I have the right to be trusted. You just have to give me time to prove you that I'm doing things the right way. I know myself and I know that I can make right decisions. Just trust me coz I know that I won't disappoint you. I just need you to trust me.

Now I feel like I'm doing something wrong. It hurts that you don't trust me and you doubt everything I do. I'm hurt and nothing feels right.

091112

Heartbkreaks.

 First Stage.

     They say that fighting in any relationship is just normal coz there are really things that both of you won't agree with. Sometimes you fight because of something like dates and movies but it's okay since we are all different and everyone of us likes different things. Someone may also be a reason why you fight because there are just so many people to be jealous with. But I know that in the end, one will always admit defeat because it's easier to lose an argument than to lose the person you are arguing with. So you can always say "Sorry..." then "I love you" 

Second stage.

     In any relationship, it's hard to decide whether to walk away or try harder. It's like answering your final  Math exam. If you don't try your best, then you might fail, but if you try harder, then you might pass. You decide. Do you want to let go of everything or do you want to continue even though you know it may bring you heartaches. It's just a matter of trust and a little bit of pixie dust. A matter of holding on or letting go.

Third Stage.

      Distance. It's hard when you start to create a distance between the two of you. It maybe to give each other a space of your own or it maybe also because you want to know if you can still live without each other. It can be a good or a bad thing. And creating enough distance from each other can help you grow separately. But make sure it's a distance that when you reach back to each other, you can still hold each other's hand. Because when you start to create a distance, you can either maintain that distance because you know it can help you both or you can stretch it out day by day without knowing it because you already enjoy the distance and the feeling of not being with each other.

-----

      I hate hearing stories about heartbreaks or letting go especially when they come from my friends. I just can't take hearing them tell me how they broke up with their boyfriend and how hard it is to move on. Let's admit it, we all have stories about heartbreaks and hearing the same stories from your friends makes it worse because you know that they're experiencing the same thing that you had experienced and you know exactly how hard feeling like that was. The feeling is, well, you name it.

     Heartbreaks are painful but with every heartbreak, we learn. It teaches us some things like love hurts and everyone you love can't love you back. And it may bring us heartaches but sometimes it also teaches us some important things in life. ♥

090612

Silence means something.

Over thinking, tired of waiting, falling apart, crying inside, or all of the above.

All of the above.

-Over thinking. Mostly, on times like today, I should be just watching movies since we still don't have lectures and school work. But lately I've been thinking too much about our thesis since we had a problem regarding our subject. We had to change it and find another beach resort which was a bit hard. But thankfully now we found a good one and they already agreed on allowing us to conduct a survey. But there are still problems like money, time, transportation and accompanies. I'm in bankrupt mode right now so I'm having a problem where to get money that I can spend. Time, we only have a week left to do this and I know it's impossible that we finish it on time. But still, have hope. Transportation, we don't have a car and a driver. Fudge! And we also need people who we can share expenses with so that it won't be too much for our pockets.We're also having a problem with the revisions and questionnaires.Thesis, money, deadline and everything else, I don't know what to do anymore. T_T

-Tired of waiting. Honestly I don't mind waiting, but if it means waiting for forever, then forget it. I have other things to wait for so I better not waste my time on something or someone I know will take forever to come. But still, I want to wait, I want to hope. I don't know but I want to believe that somehow that thing or person will eventually come. Maybe not today, not tomorrow but someday.And maybe I'm tired of waiting but I know that when time comes, and that thing finally comes, then everything will be worth it. I hope. So even though I am tired of waiting, I will still wait. I will hang on and just believe and hope that someday, somehow, it will come.

- Falling apart. That feeling when you can't tell anyone how are you feeling inside.That you are tired, you are sad, you are broken, you are hurt and that you feel so alone. You just can't tell anyone because you feel that they don't care. You think that who cares if you feel alone, who cares if you are sad and who cares if you are broken. And it is normal to feel that way sometimes, but still it's nice to know that there is someone who can tell that you are not fine even though you tell her or him a million times that you are. It's nice to know that somehow, someone knows that  you are falling apart and that they are willing to pull you up, to help you up.

- Crying inside. Put on a smile and everything will be fine. Well, that's what I thought. But sometimes it's hard to put on a fake smile when you really want to cry. It's hard to pretend you're okay when you are really not. But you know what's harder? It is letting others think that you are fine without them noticing that you are only lying. It's hard, it's sad. But you still pretend because you think it's better that you keep it to yourself than telling people who don't give a damn whatever you feel. You think it's better to just keep it inside than bothering others with your endless drama. So sometimes, I have no choice but to smile and let others think that I am fine, that I am okay. I have to show them a fake smile and fool them even if it means fooling myself too.

But even though I feel these things, I am sure of one thing... God is always there for me and he will never ever leave me. He will always guide me and He will always be by my side. ❤



062712

Rain. Music. Me.

 

 

     Plug in earphones and ignore the world. I just love it when it’s raining and I sit beside the window just listening to my favorite songs. Watching the rain makes me feel good but there are also times when it makes me sad. Like today. I don’t know what’s wrong but I just feel so alone. Like I don’t have anyone to talk to. I feel like everyone’s running away from me and they don’t care about me. I just feel like that. And I don’t know why.

     That’s why I’m thankful to my iPod. It always accompanies me on times when I feel sad. I plug in my earphones and then everything else disappears. It’s like there’s only me and my iPod. I forget all those things that bother me because I’m listening to my favorite songs, just me and the songs. 

050612

Sometimes, just sometimes...

Sometimes, I need a friend too. Someone who will ask if I’m doing well even though she can see I am. Someone who will be there for me just to be sure I’m fine. Someone who will listen when I start talking about everything, someone who will stay when everybody else walks away. I need a friend who will comfort me when I start complaining about my life and just a friend who will say that everything will be fine. And for once, I want to be a friend too. Not the friend who always gives advice but the friend who will ask for some. Not the friend who always asks “what’s the problem?” but the friend who will be asked. Not the friend who always listens but the friend being listened to. Not the friend who always says everything will be fine but the friend being told to. Not the friend who always says I’m fine even though everything seems so hard but the friend who can also lean onto someone else. For once, I want to be that friend, the one who is comforted not the one who always pretend to be strong.

Just sometimes, I feel sad too. I maybe smiling but there are times when I feel down and alone. And sometimes I just need a friend to talk to. So I hope that whenever I need one, I can find someone by my side. :) 

 

050612

Late night confessions.

When you don’t need people to be around, they seem to be always there. But when the time comes that you need people to be around you, even just one person, it seems that no one’s there. :(

 -I hate it when I feel alone even though there's a lot of people around me. My family, my so called friends, strangers, I feel like no one cares and no one seems to notice me, like I'm invincible. They see me but they don't give a damn whether I'm fine or feeling okay. They just don't care. Well, who cares about me anyway? I mean, who will bother to ask someone like me how I'm feeling or how I'm doing. But it's okay since I'm used to it. I'm used to people ignoring me and just thinking I'm fine, always fine.
 And I wonder how it feels like to be asked how I'm doing or how I'm feeling. I wonder how it feels like to have someone by your side just looking after you coz he/she knew you're not fine even though you told him/her you're fine a million times. I wonder how it feels like to have someone comforting you and saying he'll/she'll never leave you no matter what happens. I always wonder.

But this is life, sometimes you cry, sometimes you smile, sometimes you break down and sometimes you feel high. But whatever happens, always know that there is someone who will never give up on you, God. Always think that you're not alone!

And I may feel sad, lonely, hurt, or broken and feel like my whole world is crashing and my life is a mess, but you know what? I don’t care. I’m just gonna smile and show everyone that everything will be fine, everything will be alright and I’m gonna be happy again. Eventually. 

061612

Just smile!

Sometimes it's tiring to cry too. So just smile and forget crying, it'll just make you ugly. :)

So don't cry, everything will be fine. Trust me! :) 

-061412

Signs T_T

I should've followed the signs. Ako din nahirapan. T_T Ayoko na talaga umasa, wala namang nangyayari. Twice is enough. The next time I'll do it I'll make sure I'll get it right. ;) I won't be fooled again. (Hope so!)

-030212

That Feeling..

You know that feeling when you just want to stay in bed the whole day, just lay there and think of nothing. Just free your mind from all the things that bother you and just let yourself be free of anything. That feeling when you don't want to move or do anything. That feeling when you just want to cry yourself out and let out all your anger. That feeling when you just want to be alone and don't want to talk to anyone coz you think that being alone is better than talking to someone who doesn't understand your feelings at all. It's like you want to bury yourself in your bed and just stay there your whole life so you won't be hurt anymore. That moment when you feel that nobody cares and nobody give a damn about you. That moment when you feel that no one ever understands you and your feelings. That moment when you just want someone to notice you and give you attention and just stay there by your side even though you don't want them to be there. That moment when you're waiting for someone to save you and tell you that everything will be fine and that he'll stay no matter what happens. That moment when you feel relieve because finally someone is there to comfort you and protect you from all around you.That moment when you feel your tears rolling down your cheeks and someone is there to wipe them away. That feeling in your heart when someone is making an effort to reach you and tell you he'll be there until the end.That feeling when you feel safe and that feeling when you can finally smile again because someone is there by your side. ♥

That feeling in your heart when you finally found someone who cares and makes an effort  just to be there for you. :">

-022712

Home :)

It feels good to be back home. Four days seemed so long. Haha.. Missed it here. :D Anyway, just got home from our Bohol-Camiguin tour and it was awesome. I'll tell you more tomorrow, I just wanna rest for now. Didn't have good sleeps these past days :))