Movie: Alex of Venice

★★★★/★★★★★

When Alex's (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) husband suddenly leaves, she is forced to change her life too. Because now that George (Chris Messina) is gone, she's all left to take care of her 10 year old son, her ailing father and household chores. She's busy enough being an attorney so it's really hard for her when Frank leaves especially when he's the one who takes care of those things.. Now she needs to find a way to balance things so that she can take care of her son, father, work, and so that she can enjoy life again.

It's a good movie about change and accepting that sometimes we need to do things on our own. It tells us that even if things are hard and we think that we can't do it, somehow along the way we will find something that will encourage us and push us to go on and find a way through it.

 

#life

“She likes to sleep. It makes her forget about it.” 

Everything. Sleep makes me forget about everything that I almost wish I could sleep forever. Almost.

I know it's normal to feel down, tired, sad, disappointed, rejected, heartbroken, left out, mad or confused sometimes. Or most of the times, everything at the same time. And I also know that it's okay to cry if you can't take it anymore. It's okay to take a breath or to pause or to scream or to cry your heart out. It's okay to let it all out. It's okay. But after, tell yourself you're gonna be fine, that everything is going to be fine. Because it's true that everything get's better, everything will be alright. You just have to believe it, you just have to make it alright. So scream now, let it all out then take a deep breath. And I'm sure tomorrow you'll feel better. Tomorrow you'll feel lighter. 

Believe me you will be fine! :)

 01292015

Little Miss...

Lazy. I feel like I can sleep for weeks. Or forever. I don't want to get up and just bury myself  on my bed. I feel like it's bed weather everyday. Like everyday is a nothing special day so I'll just  sleep and sleep and sleep til I don't wake up anymore. Even my fingers don't want to move. My hair freezes and my body just won't move. Lazy me.
 
Foolish. I know I'm young. And I admit I'm foolish. Every young people is foolish. That's given. But wasting my time on unimportant things and letting time pass by without doing anything worth it, I think that's even more foolish. Yes, I'm still young but no, I won't be foolish forever. Maybe I'm just enjoying my life and it's okay to be foolish once in a while. That's just so foolish of  me.

Heartbroken. I don't mind being single. But I mind being heartbroken even though I'm single. Just how  did that happen? I don't know either. He's not my boyfriend, we don't even talk, but then it hurts like hell when I see him with someone else. It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. Am I that pathetic? Heartbroken me.

Indecisive. Yes.  No. Maybe. I'm not sure. I'll think about it. Life is too short to think twice about things you really want. Trust your instincts. If it tells you yes, then yes. If it tells you no, then no. Coz opportunities pass in a blink of an eye. You must learn to grab it before it's gone. It's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to explore, coz it's better to say "at least I tried" than "I should've done it." That's so indecisive of me.

Moody. One second I'm happy, the next I'm mad. One second I'm excited, the next I'm sad. Sometimes I really think I must be crazy. With my mood swings and everything, it affects not only me but everyone around me. And as much as I want to be happy, my mood tells me no. Moody me.

Overemotional. Maybe I should stop being so emotional with everything that's happening in my life.Maybe I should just keep it to myself and get over it right away. Like how everyone easily forgets about me. I know. I'm being emotional right now but that's reality. Everyone forgets. Everyone leaves. It's hard but we should accept it. That's just overemotional me.

071513

KLM. Why J?

"Still" into you...

Oh. My. D!

After all this time, I'm still into you.

It was just a dream. Effin' dream!

Why did I have to dream about you anyway?

Why?
I should be over all this butterflies.

But... I'm still into you.

Still into you.

Why am I singing?

Ugh!

I hate myself everytime I remember that dream.

Because I blush.

I still can't forget about him.

Oh gosh!

Someone please remind me that I should be over him by now.

Please!

Move on?

Get over him?

Yeah right.

If only I can.

Bow.

062813

She was the one. (Stefan and Elena)

Stefan: What if.... Elena was the one?

Lexi: She was... and she will always be an epic love. But contrary to popular beliefs there are multiple ones especially for a vampire. In order to find another, you just need to let go... and move on. 

OMG! I wanted Damon for Elena but Stefan was just so perfect for her. :((((((

 See? I'm a Delena fan but I also want Stefan for her. Gosh! Can't it be the two of them? :(

Now I can't wait for Season 5!!!! I wanna know what will happen next. :) So Excited!! :)

Stefan: She’s the love of my life.I’d go back to her in heartbeat.

 05222013

One sided love...

Isn't it painful when you love someone but he doesn't feel the same way? When you're willing to do everything or anything just for him to stay? When you've decided that it's okay for you to be hurt just as long as he's happy? I know. We've all experienced that. It's painful and hard and you feel like your world is falling apart. But we all have to accept that there are things in life that are bound to meet but not meant to be together.

We just finished watching Hana Kimi Japan, again, and there was one character I was able to relate with. It was Nakatsu's character. He was with Sano in dorm 2 (they were close friends too) and the funny-happy-go-lucky-smiling character of the story. He was good in soccer and he was very supportive to his friends. He became close to Ashiya after she become a part of their school. And without knowing that Ashiya was a girl, he began to like her even though it would mean that he was a gay... Just imagine how hard it was for Nakatsu to accept that he was really a gay for liking a guy. Well, technically Ashiya wasn't a guy. But still he decided that whether Ashiya was a boy or a girl, he would still like her. 

Nakatsu while staring at Ashiya who was with Sano on the other table.

Thinking whether to kiss her or not.

 When he can't stop but be happy with Ashiya.

 Trying to kiss her even though he  knew it was wrong because she was a guy.

And this. :))))))

Nakatsu tried his best so that Ashiya will like her back but then what can he do when Ashiya already had someone in her heart? It was just so sad for him. He confessed to her, even though he knew that Ashiya was a guy and he didn't mind it, but then Ashiya told him that he liked him only as a friend. He even told Ashiya that he was just joking and that she shouldn't have thought about it much but can you feel how painful it was for him? That he lied just for Ashiya not to see that he was hurt. In the end he cried. :'(

When he confessed to Ashiya and told her that she can depend on him.

Telling Sano that he likes Ashiya and that he won't lose to him.

When the other's found out that Ashiya was a girl, Sano and Nakatsu tried their best to protect her. And little by little others came to accept that she was really a girl. But then she really had to go home. She decided to go back to America without telling anyone but then everyone knew what he was thinking. When Ashiya took last one look at their dorm, she saw everyone behind her. I always hate goodbyes but we all know that goodbyes are sometimes necessary. So, everyone said their farewell. It was Nakatsu's turn but he ran away. Ashiya just let him because he knew how he felt. But then he showed up again before Ashiya could step out of the school.

Telling Ashiya his farewell and trying not to cry.

 And even though he can't have her, at least they're best friends. :)

 

I really don't like seeing someone cry, especially guys. I just feel like crying too. Coz when guys cry, I know it's real. And this made me cry. :"(

And that hug just made me cry even more. :'(

 And this breaks my heart. <////3

 But then we all have to accept it... that life doesn't always go the way we want it.

 At least he knew when to stop. 

Though it hurts, we all need to let go somehow, someday. :)

It's really hard to have one sided love. When you have someone in your heart but can't have them. Or can't even tell them. It's painful. It's like dying every time you see that person with someone else. Damn! Why can't it be that when you like someone, it's automatic that they will like you back?! If only it works that way. But we should know that there is really someone out there for all of us. We just have to wait and have faith and pray and wait. And well, wait! :)

051113

Skeptic.

Why is it so hard to believe when someone tells you that he likes you? But why is it harder to admit that you like him back but you're afraid he will just hurt you? Ugh! I hate myself! :(

Why am I so skeptical? Is it that hard to believe, even just once, when someone tells you that he likes you? IT IS HARD! Especially when you met a lot of guys who did the same. Started talking to you, tried to know you, told you cheesy things, and everything but you still know that in the end, they will just leave you if they meet someone better. See? It's hard!

Again.

Gosh. Why am I acting like this? It's like I haven't been on the same situation before. Like I haven't been hurt before. Like I haven't been dumped before. Like I haven't been left behind before. :(

031013

Anywhere but here.....

Paris. Rome. Ireland. Germany. Spain. Greece. Belgium. Switzerland. UK. New York. Boston. Florida. California. Alaska. Brazil. Argentina. S. Korea. Japan. Thailand. Myanmar. Malaysia. Singapore. Hong Kong. Macau. Dubai.

Take me anywhere but here.

A place where I can be myself. Where no one will give a shit on how I dress or how I look. Whether I wear a gown or swim suit or anything. Where I can wear no make up at all and still be beautiful. A place where I can sing, dance and do whatever I want without people minding me. Somewhere I can scream out all my feelings. Somewhere I feel comfortable. Somewhere I can call my own. A place I can let myself be open with. It's anywhere but here.

012113

FO :(

So let me explain myself first. I was nice to her and I just ignored her and just smiled every time she did that but this time, she went overboard. She crossed the line between our friendship and that hurt me. She overreacted and I hate her. And this time, she hurt me big time! So I won't be the who's going to say sorry. Not this time!

I've known her for 7 years and I love her because she's been there with me through my ups and downs. She was there when I needed a friend. When I needed someone to talk to, when life was hard to me and when nothing seemed fine. And I know that I can always count on her. But this time, I feel like we're drifting away from each other. She always joke around about me, saying things that she knew would hurt me but still regard that as a joke and she always make me feel like I don't have any right to have a problem. She thinks that she's the only one who's having a hard life when in fact I am having one and I just can't tell her about it because I already know how she would react. She would tell me that life has always been good to me, that I am blessed because I was born with rich parents and things like that. But damn, does she really think that I don't really have problems in my life? If only she knew.

Now I don't know what to do. I've read her posts and I knew some of them were for me. She even mentioned about "FO" which I think meant that she wants our friendship to be over. How clever was that? She was the one who started it all and I should be the one who's angry but now she has the guts to call our friendship over. Fine. I'll deal will that. And even though I want to say sorry, I won't! Because first, she was wrong to hurt my feelings, second, she really didn't have to slap it in my face that her life was harder than mine because I think we all have different problems in life and third, she's a bitch and mean and selfish and I still love her despite of those and I want her to realize her mistake.

But honestly, I miss her. We don't talk everyday but when we had chances we used to talk for hours. We would talk about our lives, friends, work, school, boys and everything under the sun. And now, it feels like we haven't talked for ages. We don't usually talk but now I miss her more than those days we didn't talk in the past. I want to call her or text her or visit her but I can't. I don't know what to tell her, how to make her realize that sometimes we need to accept that fact that we are wrong. Because I know that she believes that she's always right and she's never wrong. :(

011313

1510.

Well, I think so :)

Coz I'm still thinking of "if only's" and I still can't get over it.
 
If only I admitted it.
If only I tried hard.
If only I didn't take him for granted.
If only we didn't lose communication.

If only we didn't let go.

If only we held on.

If only we tried it again.

I know it's been years and things already changed but there are just things that you can't let go no matter what you do, no matter how long it had been.

And if only I can erase all my feelings then I will. But it's hard, it's not possible, specially when I still love him this much. 

1510. If only we're still together and things are fine between us. If only I asked for one more chance and if only he gave me one. :(

112512

I suck at LOVE :(

Stop looking for perfect partners. Just find someone who knows how lucky they are when they have you.

I know. But why do I always look for someone else? There is someone who's happy to have me and who loves me for who I am. But why can't I accept him? Why can't I let him love me? Why? I don't understand. Maybe it's because I really suck at love.

We're friends. And I thought that's all we can be. But I was wrong. I'm hurt, I'm jealous, I'm wrong. I should've given him a chance. I should've told him what I really feel. Now everything's not the same. He's avoiding me, he's not talking to me and he's not even looking at me. And believe me it hurts. We're together but it's like we don't see each other. We're on the same room but it feels like we're worlds apart. We're friends but it feels like we're strangers. Or at least we were friends. And I hate it when he doesn't say hi, I hate it when he doesn't talk to me and I hate it most when he ignores me in front our our friends. I hate it

It's weird and it hurts.

Time machine please? So I can go back to that time when he asked me that thing. That thing that ruined everything! That thing that ruined our friendship! That thing I will never want to hear again! 

Well, now I can say that i really suck at everything. Even in love. Poor me. :'<

101612

Before vs Now

Before                                                                                  Now

You used to text me every day.                                        No more text from you anymore.

You used to wait for me after school.           You don’t want me to see you anymore.

You used to ask my friends where I was                        You don’t talk about me anymore.

when I wasn’t with them.

You used to tell me everything.                                   You don’t talk to me anymore.

You used to accompany me everywhere.                                      You’re avoiding me now.

You used to care about me.                                     You don’t give a damn about me now.

You used to like me.                                        I don’t know if you still feel the same.

How sad life can be :(

Heartbkreaks.

 First Stage.

     They say that fighting in any relationship is just normal coz there are really things that both of you won't agree with. Sometimes you fight because of something like dates and movies but it's okay since we are all different and everyone of us likes different things. Someone may also be a reason why you fight because there are just so many people to be jealous with. But I know that in the end, one will always admit defeat because it's easier to lose an argument than to lose the person you are arguing with. So you can always say "Sorry..." then "I love you" 

Second stage.

     In any relationship, it's hard to decide whether to walk away or try harder. It's like answering your final  Math exam. If you don't try your best, then you might fail, but if you try harder, then you might pass. You decide. Do you want to let go of everything or do you want to continue even though you know it may bring you heartaches. It's just a matter of trust and a little bit of pixie dust. A matter of holding on or letting go.

Third Stage.

      Distance. It's hard when you start to create a distance between the two of you. It maybe to give each other a space of your own or it maybe also because you want to know if you can still live without each other. It can be a good or a bad thing. And creating enough distance from each other can help you grow separately. But make sure it's a distance that when you reach back to each other, you can still hold each other's hand. Because when you start to create a distance, you can either maintain that distance because you know it can help you both or you can stretch it out day by day without knowing it because you already enjoy the distance and the feeling of not being with each other.

-----

      I hate hearing stories about heartbreaks or letting go especially when they come from my friends. I just can't take hearing them tell me how they broke up with their boyfriend and how hard it is to move on. Let's admit it, we all have stories about heartbreaks and hearing the same stories from your friends makes it worse because you know that they're experiencing the same thing that you had experienced and you know exactly how hard feeling like that was. The feeling is, well, you name it.

     Heartbreaks are painful but with every heartbreak, we learn. It teaches us some things like love hurts and everyone you love can't love you back. And it may bring us heartaches but sometimes it also teaches us some important things in life. ♥

090612

Distance Pls!

I said I wanted you to distance yourself a little, not to never talk to me again T__T

I don't know why I feel like this, but he makes me feel like I did something wrong. Like I slapped him on the face and told him to never talk to me again. We're like magnets now with same poles, we repel. When we see each other, it's automatic that one of us will take different way. Yeah! It's hard... if you know what I mean. It's like I'm a monster who will eat him if he goes near me. And I tell you, it feels bad to be avoided by someone :|

We're friends and all I want is for us to remain friends, forever. That's why I didn't want us to have something that I know might only ruin our friendship. It's better to be just friends where everything is simple, where we feel comfortable talking about everything. It's better not to have any commitment that might just mess up everything, it's better to be just the way we are.

 "Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people"

Now it's kinda hard since he's avoiding me and he's not talking to me. I feel guilty or whatever since I was the one who pushed him away. And what I thought might be better just turned out to be the worst thing for us. I wanted that, I believed it was right, but why do I feel this way? Why? I just wanna know coz right now, I'm so confused :| I don't know if it's just because I lost another good friend or it's something else.

I'm not sure

I don't know. 

I'm really confused!

 -083112

When you're avoiding something, the more it comes to you...

I've been avoiding a question from my friend since he last asked me about it and believe me it's hard. I mean, every time I feel that he's going to ask me about it, I avoid him or I try to get our conversation somewhere but I always fail. In the end he's always able to ask me that question. What's the question? "Dez, kelan ako pwede manligaw?" 

It's not that I don't like this person or what, but I only regard him as a friend, nothing less, nothing more. He's sometimes mean (and I hate him for that!) but there are also times that he's nice (specially when it comes to me) Anyway, I've known him for 4 years already but I only got to be close to him when we were 3rd yr so technically 2 years. He's my friend's best friend and now he's an irregular at our school. And it's better that we're not block mates since we don't take most of our subjects together. Hmm. So when he asked me if he can court me, I told him that I'm still not allowed to have a boyfriend. And I told him that when we graduate, then maybe he can already court me. :)

But what if he asks me again? and again? and again? Coz as far as I remember, it's already been the 3rd time he asked me about it. :( Maybe he thinks that I will change my mind sooner or later. But no. We will stay as friends until we graduate, until forever. Only friends.

I know we're just friends and that's all we can ever be.

080212

Confession..

Isn't it nice when someone confesses love to you? When he makes an effort just to talk to you everyday or see you every after school. When he boasts about you to his friends and when he always tries to make you smile even on your darkest days? Well, it is. It feels great and it's just amazing. ♥

I got confessions so many times before and they were all different. Some were lies, some were true, some were just for fun and some were just plain jokes. And I've already learned my lesson because of those. Never ever believe a confession unless you really really really, i mean REALLY know the person. Really! Because it's just natural for us to feel good if someone confesses to us but if it comes from someone you just met or you're just friends for just about 2 or 3 months, then I believe you should think about it first. Think about it a million times first.

I have this friend Y, well he's actually my friend X's brother , who has been my chat buddy  for a long time now. We kinda argue now and then but he's not that bad. I mean I can talk to him just about everything and he would tell me things about him too.I remember when he told me about this girl he likes, liked I mean and he would ask me for some pieces of advice on what to do or what to tell her. And of course as a friend, I told him the right things to do. And fortunately he finally realized what he should've realized a long time ago, that the girl didn't like him at all. It's not that I hate the girl, but the way he told me things about her, I could already imagine what she's like. Maybe I just don't fully understand her but I don't want my friend to get hurt so I told him that I'll vote no for her, as in NO for that girl. And he trusted me. I think now he's avoiding her even though he really really really likes her a lot. Poor boy.

Oh well, back to that confession thing, I can't believe he just confessed to me. And he said he already confessed to me years ago and I said no, but I actually don't remember a thing about that and I don't even remember that we were already friends that time. Lol. I've known him for 4 or 5 years already and it's not that I don't like him, but I really don't know if I can trust his feelings or not. I mean he'd been telling me his feelings about that girl lately and now he's been telling me that he likes me. See? it's hard to believe since it's just days or just a week since he decided to let go of the girl and I'm not really sure if he already did let go and now he's telling me weird things like he likes me or he loves me. Weeeiiirrrrdddd! Maybe he's just brokenhearted and he's just confused about me. But that's not the problem......... the problem is, I can't tell him that I don't like him because I like his brother X. See? How ironic. He likes me but I like his brother who likes another girl.

Well, friends will be just friends just like me and Y, and hidden feelings will always be just hidden unless I finally have the courage to go straight to X's face and tell him everything. How I wish! And it's awkward if I make a confession to a guy. Guys are supposed to do the confessions right? So I'm not doing it. Never! :| So I guess I'll just have to wait until X and his girlfriend break up and until he realizes that he still likes me. Then maybe he would finally confess to me. Finally!

So I'm just saying that confessions are not easy, but it's not that hard at all if you have the courage to say it. But still, it is hard. Anyway, I got another confession from a wrong guy and I don't know if one day I'll be able to believe another confession because right now, I can't afford another heartbreak. Maybe someday.

-072212

Late night confessions.

When you don’t need people to be around, they seem to be always there. But when the time comes that you need people to be around you, even just one person, it seems that no one’s there. :(

 -I hate it when I feel alone even though there's a lot of people around me. My family, my so called friends, strangers, I feel like no one cares and no one seems to notice me, like I'm invincible. They see me but they don't give a damn whether I'm fine or feeling okay. They just don't care. Well, who cares about me anyway? I mean, who will bother to ask someone like me how I'm feeling or how I'm doing. But it's okay since I'm used to it. I'm used to people ignoring me and just thinking I'm fine, always fine.
 And I wonder how it feels like to be asked how I'm doing or how I'm feeling. I wonder how it feels like to have someone by your side just looking after you coz he/she knew you're not fine even though you told him/her you're fine a million times. I wonder how it feels like to have someone comforting you and saying he'll/she'll never leave you no matter what happens. I always wonder.

But this is life, sometimes you cry, sometimes you smile, sometimes you break down and sometimes you feel high. But whatever happens, always know that there is someone who will never give up on you, God. Always think that you're not alone!

And I may feel sad, lonely, hurt, or broken and feel like my whole world is crashing and my life is a mess, but you know what? I don’t care. I’m just gonna smile and show everyone that everything will be fine, everything will be alright and I’m gonna be happy again. Eventually. 

061612

Love...

Love doesn’t demand to be loved back, but it doesn’t mean it exists to be taken for granted

I know right? And now it hurts. I should've never took him for granted. I should've have told him instead. :(( I thought he'll always be there but I was wrong. Now I regret not telling him what I really feel when I still had the chance. I blew it and now he's gone. He'll never be mine again.

I really regret it the first time I took someone for granted. I thought back then that if ever he really liked me, he wouldn't change or leave, but he did. Maybe he got tired of waiting for me and realized that I was not worth waiting anymore. It was sad but it was also my fault and I regret it. I promised myself I won't take anyone for granted anymore but here I go again. I lost someone dear to me again because of my stupid reasons! I never thought it will happen again and never thought he will leave me too. Now I'm screwed and it's all my fault. No one will ever like me again because they will think that I always take for granted those person around me. I don't know what's wrong with me but I just can't tell them what I really feel. I can't tell them how important they are to me and how much they mean to me. Maybe I'm just afraid. Afraid that if ever I tell them how I really feel, they will still leave in the end. So I think it's better if I will just keep it to myself and hide it in silence.

 -031312

Random Feelings T_T

I'm sleepy, I'm bored, I'm hungry, I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm happy, I'm thankful, I'm glad, I'm sad, I'm lonely, I'm worried, I'm hurt, I'm scared, I'm stressed, I'm excited, I'm frustrated, I'm afraid, I'm alone, I'm annoyed, I'm jealous, I'm irritated, I'm confused, I'm troubled, I'm pleased, I'm lost, I'm inspired and I'm disappointed. But honestly I'm just tired. T_T

Where are you now?

It's always nice to have friends around you. When you're happy, when you're sad, when you have problems or even just once in a while. They are people who you can talk to with anything and you can share them just everything about you. But what if they're already gone? What if they leave? What if they've already forgotten you? I don't want to think about it. I never wanted my friends to leave me. I want them to stay, I want them for the rest of my life, I want them forever.

But where are you now? Lately I've been feeling so alone. No one to talk to, no one to laugh with, no one to cry with. I just feel so alone even though there are people around me. :( I hate this feeling. I hate thinking I have no one to talk to. I hate the fact that I have friends but I can't talk to them. I hate it, I just hate it! And I miss them, my friends. Laughing, joking, walking, tripping, shopping, eating, talking with them. I miss those times when we were still enjoying everything in life, carefree and not afraid of trying something new. Now it's different. We often see each other, we can't talk coz we're too busy with something, we have new friends and we have different lives now. It's so sad to accept that people change and as they change they forget things that really matters.

True friends can never be lost. I believe it's true. Though I may feel alone today, I know somehow there are people who are thinking of me. Friends who will always care and friends who will always be there. :))